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Replies to 'Body Image & Sex Appeal'
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March 28, 2006, 10:49 am PST
 Quote From: purplepain Have you talked to him about it? Not all guys fall into the same stereotype of wanting to do it everynight all night long. My husband has a lower sex drive then me. Even when we first married and we were both thinner. It's ok with me now, it took me a while to get used to it but we've found a compromise. He tries a bit more to focus on sexuality and romance and I try a bit more to cool it off. We still aren't perfect but we seem to have found a nice compromise. And your drives aren't all that different. My husband was wanting it once a month and I was wanting it everyday. So don't feel too bad. If you feel ugly and fat then do something about it hon! You are only 19, use your youth to lose that weight. If you don't feel sexy then it might be hard for you to be sexy. Also, some men need foreplay, I know that is a stereotype for women, but not all men and women are the same. Try kissing him with no pressure to go farther. Don't be hyper focused on intercourse. Just be focused on how much you love him and how you want to express it. As a man, I can back up need and want for something like foreplay. For a lot of men, it's about in, out and done! I myself would much rather have some passion, energy, excitement ... feel like I am needed and wanted.
Instead, my wife seems to offer it up very rarely (you're getting action MUCH more frequently than me) and it feels like she just wants me to get it done and over with ... feel like I'm being tossed a favor or something.
Any case, back to you! Throwing it in his face may send him the wrong signals too ... "hey, she standing in front of me in lingerie ... she's decided that it's time for us to be intimate!" Men don't like to be treated like dogs ... well, not all men!
Where the lingerie under a nice flowing dress, build up the momentum by having a nice dinner done for him, mood setting, talk with him, enjoy his conversation, show interest ... any of this sound familiar ladies?
Sometimes it's fun to just say, "hey, how about a quickie?" and it works. Sometimes you can get away with just showing up with lingerie on and it will work but there usually has to be some form of build up to it, then excuse yourself to go and put on something more comfortable ... just like the old movies. It can work!
Some men feel like they're stuck in their lives and the last thing they want is to come home and have anything forced upon them ... yes, even sex.
Also, try mixing up the positions or the experience in the bedroom too! Different positions, methods and experiences in the room may make him re-appreciate things!
I agree with the previous response in the fact that you have to feel sexy to be sexy! There are women of all shapes, sizes, nationalities, likes, etc that are sexy not necessarily because of how they look but more because of who they are and how they feel about themselves. Of course, there are always features or attributes that we like or dislike but if you put out confident and sexy ... you ARE confident and sexy!
If you want romance, sometimes you have to be the one to do the romantic thing. Who knows you better than you? YOu'd like candlelit dinners? Make one! You want quiet time together, than work at doing that (get the kids to bed or plan a night out). It's easy to get caught up in the everyday and sometimes seeing someone do something different is much more affecting than hearing someone say that they want or expect it!
I don't know if any of this will help but I know that in my experiences, I would have liked to see things done differently.
I know ... go talk to your wife about it and quit writing here, right? LIke the rest of you, sometimes it's easier to give advice than to take it yourself! |
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