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Replies to 'Body Image & Sex Appeal'
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March 28, 2006, 12:22 pm PST
 Quote From: judyblue22 You didn't ask for advice but I am going to give you some. The lack of an intimate life in your marriage is a problem. It will become VERY noticeable when one of you gets attention from a 3rd party and it reawakens that part of you. Head off that trouble now. Sit down with her and ask her what is going on and plan how to fix it.
Your wife sounds like she isn't enjoying sex (smile-most of us like it prolonged not shortened). It also might be that she is feeling angry or resentful and that is interfering with sex. She may not be comfortable talking about it but you have to get this on the table and communicate about it so you can fix it.
Every woman is different and the only one who can tell you about her pleasure spots and her secret kinks is her (and vice versa). We don't come with an owner's manual so we do have to share all of that with each other. Find out how she gives herself an orgasm and what she is thinking when she does it :) Learning to Understand your partner's sexuality is so exciting. It is like a treasure hunt.
One thing we do that is lovely is to play hookey and we stay home together and play all day while the kids are at work. We are both rested, we can be as loud as porn stars and we can spend as looong as we like doing it :). I also think the fact that we plan and schedule it so we both know exactly when it is coming makes it better. Having a sex date is hot. I plan my attire and surprises for him grin
Good luck! Thanks for taking an interest in my comments.
I do have problems ... and issues do come into play.
Sit down and make a plan? Love to! Tried it and it always ends up being something that can't be fixed because I'll never understand and, as much as I try, I've been told by her that I never will. That's not fair ... to her or me!
We'll try to do this, make more time for that, eliminate this road block, help more with this or that and still nothing.
It's possible that she's not having fun with sex ... I'm not a mind reader, I"m not well-endowed, I don't claim to know the Kama Sutra, nor am I the "hunk of the week". The one thing that I am is dedicated to trying and even addicted to her hapiness.
Pleasure spots and secret kinks, eh? I'd love to know them but, according to her, she doesn't have anything that she wants to change ... she keeps saying that she loves things just as they are. You've got to be kidding me? If she has fantasies, I can't be them. If she has passions, dreams or desires, I've tried to cater to them, regardless of what they are but especially if they are related to our intimacy.
Playing hookey usually ends up with both of us going to breakfast or lunch together, shopping and getting home before the kids do ... to be parents again ... that's it! "thanks for a great day honey!" ... nothing more!
I've done a lot and maybe I haven't done enough but she tells her friends that I'm a wonderful person. So, again, I'm confused.
At this point, it is easier to not plan, not to expect and not get disappointed than to plan, expect and be heartbroken when it just doesn't work out again! |
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