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Replies to '02/21 More Wifestyles'
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March 30, 2006, 10:37 am PST
 Quote From: kschmittz For some reason my puter is acting up again..maybe it needs coffee like me! Anyhow, yes, it is nice to have a civil discussion on this matter. I'm glad you realized your lack of support for Kelly. That takes a lot. IMO, Grant is taking the heat because he is controlling, knows it and doesn't seem to really "get it" even with all the suggestions. He doesn't really seem to be working on anyone but HIMSELF! Again, I did not see the "live"version of the show therefore missed the house video. Yes, we all acknowledge that Grant should live in a respectable house and I've stated I think he does. Kelly, on the other hand, deserves to be treated with respect- for being his wife, mother of his children and trying. I know your philosophy is very different from mine- Kelly should do and do so Grant can be happy, You know what? Women do that and the hubby still cheats, treats them poorly and in the end the woman has wasted her whole life on someone who is a schmuck! Personally, I think any man who "wants" those things just wants a robot- not a wife! My hubby (12+years) wants what I WANT, whatever makes me happy makes him happy. All in all, I hope Grant and Kelly find common ground and can be happy without either feeling like they've given up who they really are.
Kira PS- I have two boys so I understand the "firecracker" lifestyle. Just wait...it only gets worse as they get older! Mine are 4(almost) and 7 1/2- they're that far apart for a reason! ha ha ha! I agree with many of your statments. Here is just a blanket overview of what many women seem to feel. Many feel that they give and give to their husbands and when it isn't as appreciated as they feel it should be they stop and many times go back a step because they are feeling hurt. I just don't think many women realy stop to listen to their husbands on what their husbands needs are. I don't think anyone should sell their soul to the devil to make their spouse happy, but it does take two. As a wife I want to do everything in my power to make my husband happy. I put my faith into our marriage and my husband that he will do the same. I think many times when the cycle of not feeling appreciated starts the other spouse begins to feel unappreciated and disrespected, thus the downward spiral begins. Someone in that type of a cycle has to stop and say, this is getting us no where fast. I need to change my attitude and begin making an attempt to fix this. Does it have to be Grant? What about Kelly? They are both in this together. Dr. Phil said if you are waiting for you to both get on the same page it isn't going to happen. People communicate differently. The "it" that is being refered to is communication. Grant is very analytical and straight forward in his approach. That doesn't work so well with a woman. Women are emotional and need validation and a certain tact of approach. The "it" is for him to learn how to communicate with Kelly to not offend her and for Kelly to look at what Grant is saying with maybe a different perspective. I don't think Grant is trying to hurt Kelly, he just needs help in learning how to say things a little more effectively. |
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March 30, 2006, 10:38 am PST
Quote From: kschmittz For some reason my puter is acting up again..maybe it needs coffee like me! Anyhow, yes, it is nice to have a civil discussion on this matter. I'm glad you realized your lack of support for Kelly. That takes a lot. IMO, Grant is taking the heat because he is controlling, knows it and doesn't seem to really "get it" even with all the suggestions. He doesn't really seem to be working on anyone but HIMSELF! Again, I did not see the "live"version of the show therefore missed the house video. Yes, we all acknowledge that Grant should live in a respectable house and I've stated I think he does. Kelly, on the other hand, deserves to be treated with respect- for being his wife, mother of his children and trying. I know your philosophy is very different from mine- Kelly should do and do so Grant can be happy, You know what? Women do that and the hubby still cheats, treats them poorly and in the end the woman has wasted her whole life on someone who is a schmuck! Personally, I think any man who "wants" those things just wants a robot- not a wife! My hubby (12+years) wants what I WANT, whatever makes me happy makes him happy. All in all, I hope Grant and Kelly find common ground and can be happy without either feeling like they've given up who they really are.
Kira PS- I have two boys so I understand the "firecracker" lifestyle. Just wait...it only gets worse as they get older! Mine are 4(almost) and 7 1/2- they're that far apart for a reason! ha ha ha! I agree with almost everything you have said, on this and other posts, with one exception. I'm going to give Grant some credit for only working on himself - at this point. From what I gleaned from his posts, this is "homework" assigned from Dr. Phil. It makes sense to me that until he figures out why he reacts the way he does to any chaos or lack of control, and comes to some sort of peace with it, he probably can't really change. He might be able to change behaviors, but if he is just faking it, it will eventually all come back again.
My two boys are 3 and 19 months....the other day, they were quietly playing on the kitchen floor. I walked away to put laundry in the dryer just to return to find them standing on the dining room table literally swinging from the chandelier!!!! I think I lost a few years off my life! |
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