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Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'
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April 2, 2006, 8:44 pm PDT
 Quote From: rhondapat Hi Patti
I read your post and because it sounds so much like me...it scares me. I get the emotional pain...because it floods back.
One thing you have to be able to express what's going on to your doctor...and when you are in there...they hear what it is at that moment. I understand what you are saying all to well. My suggestion is to copy your post and take this to the doctor.
Also, the doctors are not supposed to care how they get paid and I have not met one yet. That could be how your feeling and you are reflecting your feelings to them. However, if it is really true there are avenues to make a complaint about the services...also you have the choice to select another doctor. You would have to go through the social service office to do that...but it can be done.
Okay...you ask if you have bipolar...we are not physicians here...but there seems to be familiarity to your symptoms...but, these symptoms can also be a reflection of other diagnosis's...such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
I am on Wellbutrin (it doesn't help me to lose weight). But, I also am on a combination of medications. Wellbutrin, celexa, buspar, & lamicital. You may need more than one med. It also sounds as though you need to go through a coping skills group therapy session and have help in dealing with your childhood abuse (trauma).
You are where I was at the age of 28...I am now 48. I see your pain, feel your pain...it's my pain. You have to work hard to have some "normalcy" in your life. I believe I see paranoia in what you write...that's why I say to really look at the doctor...they should be your advocate to improve your mental health. Expressing myself at that age...you put it in words better than I could. And maybe you are like me...I can write how I feel better than saying it. That's why you should print out what you feel and diary it.
There's a lot of good support on this board...do remember we are people who've been through a lot of what you are going through. Talking to others, writing...does help. You can do it.
Chat with you later. Rhonda Hi Rhonda, thanks for replying. It's been a very tough road for me and I'm only 28. I've been used, abused, thrown out, put down, turned down and even homeless. I was a single mom with no education who only could find work in the food industry or retail. I used drugs and alcohol for comfort and to mask my pain and I didn't respect myself. In these past 4 years, my life has change so much for the good. I've gone back to school to get my GED and now a part-time nursing student. I married a man that loves me for me, past and all, who is also the best father my children never had. I've been clean & sober for the past 4 years. And for once, I own my own home, it may not be the best home, but it's mine and of course my husbands'. I learned to love myself and to be a better mom, but my past resentment and regression is tearing my world apart and so is the stress of not getting the proper help and the feeling of not being good enough. I fear I'm putting my kids through what I've been through, which was a life filled with emotional problems, family problems and proverty. I can't help but wonder if I deserve to be a mother and if I'm bringing my family down with me. I'm just so confused and frustrated and I feel like giving up, but I've come too far to give up, but it's soo hard. Thanks for listening, it really helps me and means so much.
God Bless, Patti |
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