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Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'
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April 3, 2006, 7:51 pm PDT
 Quote From: emma08 Hi Rhonda, thanks for replying. It's been a very tough road for me and I'm only 28. I've been used, abused, thrown out, put down, turned down and even homeless. I was a single mom with no education who only could find work in the food industry or retail. I used drugs and alcohol for comfort and to mask my pain and I didn't respect myself. In these past 4 years, my life has change so much for the good. I've gone back to school to get my GED and now a part-time nursing student. I married a man that loves me for me, past and all, who is also the best father my children never had. I've been clean & sober for the past 4 years. And for once, I own my own home, it may not be the best home, but it's mine and of course my husbands'. I learned to love myself and to be a better mom, but my past resentment and regression is tearing my world apart and so is the stress of not getting the proper help and the feeling of not being good enough. I fear I'm putting my kids through what I've been through, which was a life filled with emotional problems, family problems and proverty. I can't help but wonder if I deserve to be a mother and if I'm bringing my family down with me. I'm just so confused and frustrated and I feel like giving up, but I've come too far to give up, but it's soo hard. Thanks for listening, it really helps me and means so much.
God Bless, Patti Hi Patti, It sounds like you have turned your life around. I have the same fears for my kids. I don't want them to have the childhood that I had. MY mom would sometimes go off the wall. Sometimes I cannot afford my meds either. I ask if the dr has any samples and he usually gives them to me. It is important to get to a dr. I tried to help myself with no drs and no meds and it didn't turn out so well. You should be proud of what you have accomplished and not look back. If you cannot afford therapy for you and your family, have you thought about going to a church to talk to someone. I find great therapy in the message boards themselves. The people here have a lot of good advice and wisdom. I overcompensate for my kids. I figure the busier they are, the more they won't notice how their mom is. I run myself ragged partially because I feel guilty for the life they have. I know it's not my fault, but it's hard to keep telling yourself that. The fact that you worry about them and their well being says that you are a good mom. Good luck and I hope keep pushing forward. Kris |
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