Dr. Phil means that you should learn to love yourself.
You may feel a void in your life and have a strong need to feel loved. You may feel as though you have missed out on love because your parents did not give enough to you. Many people go through their lives craving this love and acceptance, never feeling as though they can find it.
But - we can find it! It is inside of ourselves. We need to finally accept ourselves and give ourselves the love that we deserve. We do not have to feel that we are defined by others. We can decide to define ourselves.
I grew up with this void myself. I never felt loved or accepted by my parents and I spent my life searching for this through others. After my fiance committed suicide on my birthday in 2003, I realized (after many months of horrible grieving) that nobody else was going to give me what I was looking for. I had to give it to myself.
How?
1. One way to start doing this is by giving yourself a hug at night before bed and telling yourself that you are a good person, you are loved, and everything is going to be alright. (I know it sounds corny, but it works!)
2. Smile at yourself when you see yourself in a mirror.
3. Create visual cues such as a paper on your bathroom mirror or fridge that has a positive message. I have one on my fridge that says:
Since I am the only person that I will have a relationship with for the rest of my life, I choose to:
* love myself the way I am now
* to always acknowledge that I am enough just the way I am
* to love, honor, and cherish myself
* to be my own best friend
* to be the person that I would like to spend the rest of my life with
These positive messages will affect us whether we believe they will or not. The more we see them, the more we are influenced. Even training yourself to smile often can influence your mood, attitude, and level of positive mental health.
Hope this helps you!
Joni
