Replies to '07/17 Mommy Dearest'

Hi Peanut, 

It would be nice if your mother would participate sweetie but if she's not acknowledged her toxic part in your life thus far it's not likely she will be doing so any time soon and you shouldn't hold up your happiness for a moment because of her.  It's not up to you to heal her side of the relationship which means the only person you are responsible for taking care of is yourself.  I can't say that it doesn't matter that she owns up to her role as your mother but the reality is even if she does somewhere down the line you can't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.  What if it never does?  Some people just should never be parents and simply don't have what others of us feel to be the natural instinct to love, protect and nurture our children.  It takes so much more to be a parent, to nurture and love a child, than some have the capacity to give.  Some behave as if they are no more than vessels in which offspring are formed and they have no tangible connection.  In any case you have to take care of your own heart and spirit.  How sad that your mother has missed out on having a relationship with such a wonderful woman like you!  Her life is less for not having shared it as she could have knowing you.  Surround yourself with love, acceptance and positivity.  It won't change your mother but it will help you put enough emotional distance between yourself and her to be able to find the goodness in your life in spite of her.  Mourn the relationship you wish you might have had with a mother had she been able to fill that role then give your own child and yourself all the love you missed.  What an incredible gift that will be to your child and to you!  Don't allow a poisonous legacy to continue to mar your life or color what you will have with your own child.  Know that at least from here I send you hugs, heart, and wishes for the brightest future there is to have!   

(((Hugs))) 

Vicki