Quote From: kris2020Hi Patti, It sounds like you have turned your life around. I have the same fears for my kids. I don't want them to have the childhood that I had. MY mom would sometimes go off the wall. Sometimes I cannot afford my meds either. I ask if the dr has any samples and he usually gives them to me. It is important to get to a dr. I tried to help myself with no drs and no meds and it didn't turn out so well. You should be proud of what you have accomplished and not look back. If you cannot afford therapy for you and your family, have you thought about going to a church to talk to someone. I find great therapy in the message boards themselves. The people here have a lot of good advice and wisdom. I overcompensate for my kids. I figure the busier they are, the more they won't notice how their mom is. I run myself ragged partially because I feel guilty for the life they have. I know it's not my fault, but it's hard to keep telling yourself that. The fact that you worry about them and their well being says that you are a good mom. Good luck and I hope keep pushing forward. Kris
Yes, I do have a church that I go to, but I feel to weird to go and talk to my pastor because he has known my husband's mother for over 30 years. Plus I have already spoken to him once and it only help for that moment. I have a very good relationship with God and He has done so much for my family and me. I converted from being a Catholic to Baptist a little over 3 years ago, but I'm still struggling to live a Christain life, but love Jesus and so thankful He's a forgiving God. It is just so hard, I curse, scream, yell and fly off the deep end all the time, so how can I be a good Christain? It's like I live two lives. But I feel the same as you, I do too find it to be great therapy here at the message boards. Kris, I have no money, no car and I live in a very small town with no public transportation. So all I do is sit at home and think, think about how I was treated in the past, think about how I just talk to my 9 year-old daughter the night before, think about going to the fridge to grap a bit of comfort food, it's just so pathetic and sad and it just makes me so sick and angry. I'm the same with my kids, I hardly ever spend quality time with them, you know one on one, but I'm always home? I don't know what to do, that's why I'm here and everyone keeps telling me I need to get to a doctor and I have. I told my doctor how I felt, I may have not told her every single thing, but I made my point clear. And all she said was that I suffer from anxiety and an irregular heartbeat. I'm on Wellbutrin XL, which is suppose to help with my so-called anxiety and to lose weight, it's been over a year and nothing new, I still feel and look the same, as a matter of fact, I've gained more weight. And I'm on Metorol to help regulate my blood? I feel like my doctor doesn't even know what is wrong with me. Anyway, I'm sure I've bored you, thanks for the re-ply and hope you have a great day & God bless, always, Patti