Replies to '03/31 Love Smart, Part 1'

For whatever it's worth I am sorry you've had to go through this.  I just hope that you don't give up the belief you've once had that there really is such a thing as "true love."  If there's anything this culture needs today it is role models of just such a thing.  I don't think that there was a better eye opening look at what is stereotypical of our culture today than the opinions given as "deal breakers" for potential mates on Dr. Phils "Love Smart Island."  "I can't date a man who has hair on his chest."  "I can't date a man who wears athletic shoes with blue jeans." I mean please!  Now i am not pointing fingers at women here because I hear the same words coming out of mens mouths.  It's just that these were statements made on national television and regardless of sex I feel that they probably do provide a pretty good representation of the "norm" today.   

With regards to your statement about being out of the running because of the preferences of men I would have to disagree.  I am not saying that it doesn't exist, but I am saying that there are a lot of men, myself included that think that a woman in her forties/fifties who takes pride in herself, who wants to look and be her best, has integrity and character, is absolutely drop dead gorgeous!  I'd take Lauren Hutton over most women half her age.  Lack of depth and immaturity leaves me cold everytime.  I get approached a lot by younger women because I look nearly twenty years younger than I am (the Tom Hanks gene) and while the attention is flattering at times the rest of the package isn't. 

I used to belong to several internet dating sites and the title I saw on more womens profiles than any other was "Are there any good guys left?"  Pardon me for being so bold, but I have to say that there are and at the risk of coming across as arrogant I think I'm one of them.  Still I managed to bat 1000 on blow offs (hence the "used to belong")  Did you say you had some cheese to go with my whine?  LOL!  Hey, all in fun, but true nonetheless.   So there you have the flip side. 

You are right to not be "desperately seeking another mate."  But I do hope that you are seeking one "wisely."    Desperation is a turn off and any man worth having would sense it and run the other way just as he would bitterness.  Both men and women, myself included shoot themselves in the foot by carrying that around and victimizing an innocent person.  

I hope that you will have the courage to risk love again because it really does exist in the "real world."  We all desperately need those kinds of heroes today.   

Don't give up girl Dennis