Quote From: apethingIf you ask me, he is telling you he wants out. Just look forward and see what your baby is going to learn. Obviously, he is very immature and needs you to make the move. He will never tell you to go because he is a coward but he will never let you be respected again. I can tell you this because the father of my two year old son was very similar. Eventually he became verbally and so emotionally abusive that I left. It was very scary and I found support in our mutual male friend. The male friend and I became very close and I became ridden with guilt. I cared about my son's father but enough was enough. I never thought he would or could change. What scared him most was when the other man proposed marriage. He then realized how special I am and that many people see that quality that he took advantage of. I made a choice to work things out again with him and it has been a very rough road. Sometimes I am so certain I did the right thing being a family again, other days I feel that I will never feel that connection, the trust or passion. It can be so hard to love someone who was so cruel. And I am afraid of being hurt again so I sheild any feelings I may feel. I feel that as soon as he is "comfortable" he will be in control again. Good luck to you and your baby, I think you should look for support from friends and family to give you and your husband time to seperate and see if YOU even want this man in your life or if you are just dissapointed that he is not interested in being a family anymore.
I'm just now reading a wonderful book called: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum. The book asks very specific questions to ask yourself to help you make the decision to stay or to leave.
If your library doesn't have it, try to have them get it thru Interloan. I've been reading everything I can find to help me decide whether or not to go back to my husband of 31 years after an almost 3 year separation. I've gone thru cruelty, verbal and emotional abuse as you have.
