Replies to '07/03 "I Want My Ex Back"'

Quote From: buzy3bz

Oh my, oh my. So I'm not the only one who's confused about the home situation. I'm 37 and have been married since 1998. I saw red flags go up before I married my husband, but, with family helping push to get married because I was 30, I chose to marry my husband without much thought. He had 2 children from a previous relationship and then now, we have 3 together. My brakes failed and I couldn't stop before, during, or even now in this marriage. My husband is very controlling and he is very good at manipulation and using the kids, and maybe it's not directly but can still affect them. I've threw my husband out 2 times and took him back each time and then finally moved out of the house with the children and after 2 years, he just moved in. It was a mistake that I continue to make. My husband hasn't changed. He's like a kid himself. Isn't responsible. And now feel stuck because I don't want to keep putting my children through this relationship. I have taken my husband to court for support because he hasn't allowed me to work outside the home, and everytime I did, he would make it impossible for me to go and I would end up getting fired. I receive child support  and he threatens that if I divorce him, he'll run and I won't get a penny from him. I have 2 children with disabilities and it is impossible for me to work at his point due to the compromising positions of their disabilities. He tells me every day that if I don't like it, divorce him, and I won't get a penny. I keep telling him, it's not for me, it's for his kids. I haven't had a new wardrobe, new shoes, or anything new in probably 4 years. Everything goes towards bills and the children for their needs. I'm just so confused, because of his threats. He tells me he'll never change and this is the way it is. I have 2 choices he says, to either drop the support and be a family or to keep living the way we are. If I drop the support, he has a history of not paying bills and spending fivorously. He already had us lose one home and vehicles, I'm not jeopardizing the lives of my children and having them not have a home to live in. He's hung up on the sexuality of a relationship. I'm like Amber, I don't like being groped in front of the children. It's inappropriate. There is more to a marriage than sex. I don't know how to feel. I get angry with myself because I'm caught in something that I feel I can't take a stand for. I don't know whether to be quiet and live the rest of the 14 years until my youngest is 18 and then get out or to get out now. I should have never taken my husband back. Amber shouldn't take hers back either. They won't change. Don't take them back. My husband and I were better towards each other when we were separate than together.