That's a tough one. How long were you married to this man and are there any children?
My husband and I are in a rut, after 19 years, I believe he's been faithful, but am not dumb enough to be surprised if he wasn't. I have totally been faithful. In body, that is. Because even thinking about sleeping with someone else is infidelity.
Of course you would have a hard time thinking about him being with someone else, that would be my biggest problem also.
It takes a strong, big hearted woman to take someone back who has done this. I truly believe people can make a mistake and feel horrid about it and can change. This call his yours, you have to live with him and if choose so, forgive him, even though you'll have that picture in your mind.
You obviously love him or you wouldn't have asked for help. I believe if he's worthy of you, then he should do anything you request of him to save you marriage. Counseling for what he did, and counseling for what you're dealing with.
That's only what I would do, and I'm real big on faithfulness. We are mere mortals and a sin is a sin. We all deserve forgiveness. If it was only once.
I would also begin really ramping up my looks, whatever you have to work with, a new outfit or two. Confidence in yourself, don't let him think he's broken you for good. Rekindle, and no game playing.
I so wish you luck. My previous went out on me, I did nothing and I was miserable, I took on all the blame. The divorce ripped up my self esteem, but I learned.
Final note, have yourself tested for any STD's before getting in the sheets again.
Best wished on your ordeal and I hope all turns out o.k.
