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April 8, 2008, 7:02 am PDT
Emotional Abuse
Quote From: lpapasI know how you feel. I went to counseling after listening for years that I was the one with the problem. I began to believe it, thinking I was losing it. I went to counseling and learned it was verbal abuse, that it wasn't me. I read your letter and I completely understand where you are coming from. I was really concerned about how the verbal abuse would affect my two daughters. My husband did attend a few sessions, just to quit in the middle of our therapy. But the therapy did help me realize that is is not me. She did recommend some books for me to read which helped me immensely. They are both by Patricia Evans. She first wrote the book 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship'. She received many letters in response, and compiled them in a second book, 'Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out'. I did find both of them at Barnes and Noble. They are $11 each, but worth it's weight in gold!!! For years I did not talk about what I was experiencing, because I truly believed it was me. I lost all identity and felt that when I was home I could not be myself. Then I started to read Relationship Rescue, when it dawned on me. This is not how couples treat each other, and you need to demand more for yourself, you deserve better!!!! The verbal abuse books spell it all out, it's like I wrote them myself!!! Good Luck and my prayers are with you! This is my first time posting to this board and I guess I'm reaching for someone to help me understand my situation. I got married to a wonderful man just a short time ago, like 5 months. The first few months were wonderful, but these last two months have been torture. We are both in the military so it complicates the situation....we are stationed in two different parts of the world. But, in the beginning we spoke everyday and seemed to be doing very well. Two months ago, my husband just stopped talking to me. He doesn't return any phone calls, doesn't respond to emails, and has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth. Last month I was hospitalized for severe chest pain, my husband was contacted but he didn't come to the hospital nor did he send a message saying that he couldn't. He was actually on the same post with me conducting training five miles from the hospital. This broke my heart and doubled with the fact that he also has not spoken to his daughter who is 4 months pregnant with our grandchild. I almost wish we would have had a wicked fight, at least then I could understand. I'm loosing sight of who I am and asking myself daily what I did to deserve this....any advice.
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