I wholeheartedly agree with this. I have a gf and we talk about how men (occasionally women too) who get off the hook on this one too easily, being allowed to "blame it" on something other than themselves. It seems to me that Dr Phil's too easy on them accepting their excuses as a reason when In fact I truly believe this is epidemic!
I really "get" the fears of commitment and intimacy that people feel, but I don't think it's being effectively addressed in the singles' world. I hear and see this all of the time. It doesn't just happen to me, but lots of women I know. The men not returning phone calls, never making or keeping a second or third date, not getting past a month or more, etc.
If someone has intimacy issues but they're already living together or married, they are usually asked to take a look at themselves and why they are feeling insecure, but when a single guy dates a single woman a few times, maybe even a few months and gets scared to take it to the next level, even after he's made it clear he IS "that in to her" they typically use the same excuse Robert from the show used. By using that excuse it's as though they're saying, "oh, hey, I guess I changed my mind now." I think NOT. Not most of the time anyway. Most of the time, something "happens" which scares them and it has nothing to do with the other person.
It's like the woman said on the show, "How many times do you need to eat at a restaurant before you decide you don't like their food?" These men behave like they really want you and then something happens and BAM! They get scared and use some excuse to themselves which I think is probably something they knew already about you, from the start, like your hair color's not right, you're too short, or whatever they can use to convince themselves they're not really into you.
Then, they NEVER get over the REAL problem and they continue to remain alone and single or as some call it, "serial daters." I think that's why men (and some women) stay single. They can't get past that fear in themselves. It's not that they want to remain alone, but each time they get close they blame it on the other person never addressing the real issue.
No wonder Robert's never been married! No offense, Robert. I just think Dr Phil let you off the hook too easily and didn't get to the root of your problem!
I'm writing this because I'm hoping that Dr Phil will take a good hard look at this issue. Dr Phil, I think you can make a shift in the single world, if anyone can and Lord knows we desperately need one!
