Quote From: darceyI can somewhat agree with the fact there are double standards with women shouldn't let themselves go but it's justifiable for men. I have taken alot of pride in the fact I care about how I look to a degree too, but I do it for myself not for the public, whether I was single or married. But what I think is a dealbreaker is.....when I married my husband 11 years ago his physical state was awesome. He took care of himself and cared about his appearance. Now 11 years later yes he still cares about how he looks and is hygenically very clean but...he has gained atleast 60 pounds! To me that's a deal breaker. Honestly if I would have met him, eye to eye, no verbal, 11 years ago I wouldn't have stopped to go on a date. Anyone out there agree this is a total dealbreaker??? I want the same man, physically, that I married.
how long do you expect him to be the same man, physically that you married?? that's so weird to me...I love people knowing they will change...physically, emotionally, intellectually. people change...they go through periods where they might get bigger or smaller, they might go through hair-dying phases, or suddenly feel the need to have a mullet. they might go through a period of stinky-onion eating, and they'll probably get old and wrinkly. they might grow menopause-induced hair in new places, or shave off hair in old places. they might get sick and have a mastectomy, or get in an accident and lose a limb, or burn their face. they might go grey early. they might lose a bunch of weight, or become interested in weight-lifting and bulk up. sheesh, they might get sex change surgery.
It's bizzare to me that none of this would occur to you before you marry someone. I fall in love with the knowledge that any of the above is possible...I would never expect my love to stay excatly the same for my benefit. life is a journey, you change and learn and become who you really are. if you're not willing to support another's inevitable and necessary change, don't marry 'em.
