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Replies to 'Lying about Money/Spending'
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May 22, 2006, 7:47 am PDT
 Quote From: hopeless1 i have been married for 4 years. my marriage has been a roller coaster from day one. i have gone through alcoholism w/ him, rumors of him w/ other women, job after job, drugs, debts he incurred in MY name. he was diagnoised bi-polar and is on med's finally. he's been much better. at least i thought. 2 wks ago he sat me down and told me that he's been taking cash advances out on MY credit cards because he racked up $50,000.00 worth of football debts w/ people u don't mess w/. i thought that we were finally getting on track and he screwed me. i ended up dealing w/ a settlement company on some of these debts and am getting screwed there. he's been off of work because he was in an accident 3 months ago. we're receiving nothing because there is a lawsuit pending. i am so confused on what to do now. i have a small child and she's the one i'm worried about. if i file bankruptcy and leave i feel like what if i end up in a jam...no where to get money. i'm so confused. he's apologized but i see him so differently now. he took all our savings and lied to me. told me so many stories. i don't know what to do and i really need someone to listen and talk to. i feel like i'm the only one worried. it seems like he was so concerned paying those thugs back because he had to save himself. but paying me back? he doesn't seem so quick to do. I have been married to my bi-polar spouse in July will be our 4th anniversary. The area of money is a big issue. For 18 months when we got married he could not find work. Finally, jobs began openning up and he was getting an income. Always though, there were/are stories told that he didn't get paid, left his check somewhere, lost the money or the check. Loaned it to someone, got mugged, whatever he thinks I will believe. But its gotten to the point I had to somewhat put my foot down. Now he earns 4-5X more than me working on the river. Yet he still never manages to gt any money home. He goes to Bourbon Street and stays until the money is gone then finds his way home if then. At one point he decided to stay down there working and pretending to be homeless. So now I told him, pulling an empty pocket out the side of my pants. I told him if he couldn't help put money in it he better not come and try to get anything out of it either. Because if it only pertained to him I wasn't getting it anymore. I struggle with keeping utilities on while he parties every paycheck away. So last week when he brought nothing home, I had already explained I couldn't do it. He ran out of cigarettes and coffee for 3-4 days, suffered the withdrawal from both and was generally miserable. However, the next money he got his hands on managed to get home for some groceries etc. But that's not to say it will work very long.
I have begged pleaded explained how his disorder affects both of us and those around us. But he still refuses to get on medicated. The rages and rapid-cycling nearly drive me nuts too. Not to say he is nuts, its a figure of speech.
How did you manage to get your spouse to accept treatment.
My husband took a whole new checkbook from me and claimed someone came in to use the bathroom and took it. Thankfully where I bank there are several who know me and it was my personal checking account, he was trying to use. They didn't let him get by with cashing the check/s. He still says that is true. But they have cameras and taped the whole thing.
I have to keep an eye on every bit of income I get. from locking my purse in my car, and hiding the keys to sleeping with my purse under my pillows at night. How much more can one person take. |
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