Replies to '04/13 Engaged Too Soon!'

I agree, many of my friends who married successfully, did NOT live together before marriage, but I know many who have NOT lived together, and were divorced in a year.My "Husband " and I have lived together now for seventeen years with two children, and yes both children are his.  Do they know mom and Dad aren't REALLY married like their friend's parents, sure they do, we've never hidden that from them, and yet funny, they've never questioned our love for them, or the stability of their family, no big deal for us or our REAL friends, so it was no big deal to them.

My husband and I thought it was better to provide a stable happy home, and to look after our kids together, no matter what, whether we stayed together or not, that was our focus, not what family or friends thought, and you know it was funny, they did come around, maybe they didn't like it, but it didn't matter.

Now, that being said, My friends that went ahead lived together, then got married,well yes they are divorced, but why ?  In one case, once he figured, " great, she signed the papers, she can't leave, I now own her."  In another case, she thought "well we're married so NOW he MUST toe the line. "

I have nothing against mariage, but we have no plans to change things, and I think I worry less than my actual MARRIED friends.

Marriage just isn't my thing.  My advice though before planning to live common-law, here in Canada or in The United States, check with your provincial or state courts to find out if you need to register your status, especially if your plan on owning property or having children together, if for no other reason than to protect your own and the childrens rights.

Whether you choose to marry, or live common-law, it IS a commitment, and either way, both parties should do their RESEARCH into their local  laws and find out the ins and outs of both options before deciding, no regrets here about my decisions, so I don't need anyone preaching to me, or trying to change my mind.

thank You