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April 14, 2006, 8:38 am PDT
Work on yourself
Quote From: eae7203your story sounds so much like mine, i have been married for 18 years , 3 children - 18,15, 12 and thought we had a great life ...a week before x-mas last year ,i found out he had a girlfriend and it wasnt his first its been the whole marriage with 2 different married women the first one lasted 7 years and i had our last son in the middle of that one and the last one was for 2 years ,he said there was nobody inbetween but how do i know. its been a year and it still fells like yesterday. how do you move on and i dont even know what to do with our "marriage" he says its over and wont happen again because now i know. he claims to have a problem and now its fixed. he wants to save our marriage but what link of marriage do we have? If Dr Phil is correct, (and I believe he is), in his life law that states that we teach people how to treat us, then something about you lets your husband know that he can act this way, and treat you this way, and get away with it.
I know that as a mother with children you want to make the best life for them. But do you use them as the excuse to stay with this jerk? If you are, when the real reason is that you are dependent on him for support and are scared to leave him, then your are being dishonest with yourself and not fair to your kids.
I would decide to start looking at yourself, and taking care of yourself. He's not going to, he doesn't respect you or care about your feelings. You are the one setting the best example for your kids, so stop portraying a passive doormat.
Get some counseling for yourself, or if you can't afford that, buy Dr Phil's SELF MATTERS. You will not only learn to understand yourself and how you arrived at the place you are, but it will give you the tools to change the rest of your life. To live your life. You will learn how to not let his actions rule your life and your opinion of yourself.
The best of luck to you.
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