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April 15, 2006, 3:16 pm PDT
Ultimatums
Quote From: ritehere When you started smoking so that "the smell would not get to" you so much, that was a bad move on your part. What kind of message do you think that sent? Also putting up with him smoking pot. If it were me, I call a halt to the relationship until he could prove that was not going to ever happen again.
It sounds like you are attracted to someone that is completely different from you. Maybe this is a good time to look at this man objectively, stepping outside of your emotions for him. Better now than after your married and have kids don't you think? Well I am not smoking currently. I could not live with myself if I became a smoker. It lasted about 4 months and I started feeling sick and unhealthy so I stopped. I have tried stepping away and looking at it objectively. I have written lists of the pros and cons and since he is a good guy the pros ALWAYS outweigh the cons. I told him today that I will not stand for it and that I will leave if needed. He will do anything to keep me including giving up those friends if I ask him to. I guess I have to wait and see if he truly makes changes in his life and if not then I feel he is choosing his unhealthy lifestyle over me and I will have to go. I have to put myself first but now I have to realize that this is an addiction as someone stated earlier and it takes more than a loved one getting upset. He has to want to quit and now he has a little more incentive. Either he stops or he will be a single man smoking. I have been a push over until now and I feel my inner lioness coming out to fight for true happiness.
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