Quote From: llcoolt I AM ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT APPEARED ON THIS SHOW.
JUST FOR THE RECORD, HERE IN CANADA OUR LAWS ARE IF YOU HIT A CHILD THEN YOU ARE CHARGED WITH CHILD ABUSE. WHEN YOUR CHILD LEAVES HOME AT 14 YRS OLD THE POLICE WILL NOT GET INVOLVED AND THEY WILL NOT MAKE THE CHILD GO HOME.
HERE IN CANADA OUR LAWS HAVE TAKEN AWAY OUR CONTROL OF OUR CHILDREN BUT YET IF THEY DO SOMETHING THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW THEN WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. GO FIGURE!! AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED, IF A CHILD RUNS AWAY BEFORE THE AGE OF 16 THEN THEY SHOULD BE BROUGHT BACK TO THE HOME IMMEDIATELY. BUT NO!!! OUR RIDICULOUS LAWS DON'T DO THAT.
THAT IS ONE TOOL THAT MY CHILD USES AGAINST ME BECAUSE SHE HAS SAID IF YOU TOUCH ME THEN I WILL CALL THE POLICE! OH AND YOU CANT MAKE ME COME HOME BECAUSE IM 14!
BUT LETS FACE IT, THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!
I HAVE 2 OTHER CHILDREN WHO ARE PERFECTLY WELL BEHAVED AND RESPECTFUL
I think that what has been done with the laws in Canada in regards to when and where a child has a say in their well being has actually been the root cause for a lot of tragdies in this country and one that has taken the lives of 8 or more young girls in my province of BC and in the otown that i live in! I also have a 14 yr old daughter, granted she is not violent with me but she was taught from a very young age that striking or hitting me, her Dad, her younger brothers or anyone else was wrong and resulted in a punishment - not a violent one- her room, time out, loss of fun things (TV< going to the park, etc). But as the mother has said her child uses that she can not hit her or she can call the authorities. well my attitude is if you don't like the rules or the consequences of breaking the rules then DON"T BREAK THEM! My daughter has used the same line on me that Laurie's daughter used on her in the clip that was shown on the show today, about not getting to do what her friends get to do! Well my daughter thought her Dad and I were just being controlling and unreasonable with teh rules about not running around half the night, going to vidoe dance parties where drugs and alcohol were among other things, so she decided this passed christmas break to SNEAK OUT of my house @ 2 in the morning with a boy she met on line! Well first off i do not live in the city but about 20 km outside of it in the country! well i thank God everyday that my daughter came home that morning, ALIVE. i know that many mothers in my area have not been so lucky, i'm not sure if any of you had heard of the section of highway in northern BC dubbed "the Highway of Tears" well it is highway 16 that runs east and west through northern BC and i think the number is 9 young girls have gone missing along this highway and only 4 bodies have been found so far. all but one were under 18 yrs old! the latest victim was 14 yrs old and her body was found only 8 mins from my front door on the highway!! My daughter heard about this before I did and she has been taken to the spot where Aielah's body was found while there was still yellow police tape around it. Ok now you can think me a bad parent for taking her there but she has finally seen that it is not about trying to control her or stop her from having a life and fun that we have the rules that we do but because we want her to have all those things but also to make sure she gets to grow old and have wrinkles and kids, grandkids, a wedding day, graduate from high school, college, university and sadly one day bury her parents because really that is the circle of life. No parent need to bury their child because they could not help them see that NO is really us as parents say YES to them growing up and living to be a 100!!! the laws in Canada not only let 14 yr olds runaway but also gives them the power to decide if they get pregnant if they are going to tell their parents about it?!! Now i know that my 14 yr old is in no way ready or capable at her age of making such a life altering decision on her own or with her boyfriend!!! now that is just messed up when parents can not be parents because of what the law says.
As a mother of 3 i find that being very frank about things with my children works way better then trying to convince them that they will eventually understand when they ARE OLDER! i pull very few punches with my kids when it comes to the rules in my house, they are to be followed or "There's your room, enjoy the view". my kids know when that phrase is spoken the conversation is over at that time and they go to their rooms. Parents these days are spending way too much time and energy trying to be their child's friend!!! my kids have enough friends i do not need to be one to them. I see no need to get into a physical fight with my kids because i am only setting a bad example for them. i have learned that yelling is fruitless too!!! i take a toone that makesa them take notice now that actually i find is unnerving for them, i just drop my tone and speak to them as if they are one of my students in the classroom, very matter-of-fact this is what is expected of you and I expect it to be done in a timely fashion, end of story. Parents need to remember one thing that children display behaviour they have seen their parents display!
