Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

I have known J for 20 years. She's funny, artistically very talented, and has been a good friend to me and to my husband, as we have been to them. About a year ago, I took up a particular artistic pursuit, and although J and her husband didn't have the funds for her to participate, she really wanted to take the class, and we arranged that J's husband would do some renovations for us, and we would pay for her to take the class.  We didn't have much money at that time (or now, for that matter), but it seemed a reasonable way to say thanks for J's husband's help, which I know he would have happily given for free.  Both J and I really enjoyed the class, and both decided to continue on. 

Long story short, although J has brought a high level of creativity to her work in this medium, she hasn't attained the same level of skill that I have. I'm not tremendously creative, but I've mastered the mechanics of the work quite well, to the point that our instructor has invited me to be (the most junior) part of his "build team" for creating his own work.

Six weeks ago, J and I were both given the opportunity to attend a workshop in another city. I booked a hotel room, and offered to share it with her; she refused very ungraciously, staying in college residence for about what the shared room would have cost. While we were there, she was quite cool to me, and refused my offers to work with her, though I solicited her help and both sought and accepted her advice on some of my pieces, J was scathing about my apparent desire to "go home with a lot of product".  I actually don't think there's anything wrong with product; I have sales for some of my pieces, and that in part has offset my costs in this medium. 

I'm hurt by her behaviour, and although I'm trying to realize it's not necessarily about me, it's hard not to take it personally. I value the friendship -- am I a chump?

I have known J for 20 years. She's funny, artistically very talented, and has been a good friend to me and to my husband, as we have been to them. About a year ago, I took up a particular artistic pursuit, and although J and her husband didn't have the funds for her to participate, she really wanted to take the class, and we arranged that J's husband would do some renovations for us, and we would pay for her to take the class.  We didn't have much money at that time (or now, for that matter), but it seemed a reasonable way to say thanks for J's husband's help, which I know he would have happily given for free.  Both J and I really enjoyed the class, and both decided to continue on. 

Long story short, although J has brought a high level of creativity to her work in this medium, she hasn't attained the same level of skill that I have. I'm not tremendously creative, but I've mastered the mechanics of the work quite well, to the point that our instructor has invited me to be (the most junior) part of his "build team" for creating his own work.

Six weeks ago, J and I were both given the opportunity to attend a workshop in another city. I booked a hotel room, and offered to share it with her; she refused very ungraciously, staying in college residence for about what the shared room would have cost. While we were there, she was quite cool to me, and refused my offers to work with her, though I solicited her help and both sought and accepted her advice on some of my pieces, J was scathing about my apparent desire to "go home with a lot of product".  I actually don't think there's anything wrong with product; I have sales for some of my pieces, and that in part has offset my costs in this medium. 

I'm hurt by her behaviour, and although I'm trying to realize it's not necessarily about me, it's hard not to take it personally. I value the friendship -- am I a chump?