Replies to '07/24 Teen Dating and Abuse'
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April 17, 2006, 8:22 am PDT
 Quote From: lemondrop The numbers are frightening. 1 in 4 girls will be in an abusive relationship.
95 % of teenage girls in this type of relationship do NOT reach out for help.
Learn to recognize the warning signs
ISOLATION Does your daughter have less friends now than before she met her boyfriend? An abusive boy will isolate his girlfriend from her friends....in overt or covert ways, he may isolate her from friends, then outside activities at school, then her family. Without this social support system she will then become dependent on him emotionally and when necessary find it hard to leave.
EMOTIONAL CHANGES In the beginning or early on in the infatuation stage she will be happy. Once the boy becomes abusive she will become sullen, sad...desperate. May cry more or want to be alone.
CONSTANT COMMUNICATION Does your daughter boyfriend constantly page her, call her and she must call him back immediately? He might ask her where she is , whats she doing, who is she with, what time will she be back and how many boys has she spoken to that day.
JEALOUSY ISSUES You might notice the boyfriends jealousy, if she looks or speaks to another boy. Does he get upset? Does he tell her how to wear make-up or not...criticize her clothes, her friends? Did he tell her that he loves her early on in the relationship? This is his "hook" your daughter might find this romantic, but it can be a "red flag" for jealousy or control issues.
BOYFRIENDS BACKGROUND If the boyfriend comes from a tragic background a tragic home life, it could mean trouble. Is there alcohol, drugs, or abuse in the home? He may not be far behind in one or both parents behavior.
NEED TO IMPRESS When he gives her "advice" in clothing, friends, makeup, hairstyle...does she follow his every word? Your daughter may be completely in denial and be in fear of what he may do if she doesn't change these things to suit him.
MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM Your daughter may stick up for the boyfriend...defending his words and actions. Don't let her denial force you to ignore your "gut." He may have convinced her that she is too sensitive to what he says, or that he is only kidding when he really meant what he said and did.
i wish i would have known these signs years ago. my daughter is and has been in and out of an abusive relationship for 6 years now. these girls think they can change these monsters i worry everytime i know shes with him. i know the signs now and what to do to get it reported to the authorities,(wish i did 3 yrs ago). my daughter has endured bites on her arms, legs, chest and back to the point that you can see teeth marks in them. he has busted her teeth out by hitting her w/beer bottles, and some of her girlfriends have told me several times that he has grabbed her by her neck and slammed her into walls w/her feet dangling, there has been times it has taken 5 to 6 other people to pull him off of her. i fear for her life. she is now over 18 and nothing i can do, he also waited til she was of age before he started this abuse. i know he did that knowing she wouldnt press charges on him. i beg other moms to watch for and know this signs before it is to late for your daughter. do what u can to get her out. i have but they still need to make thier own decision. believe me it is the hardest thing ive done trying to get her out without ruining our relationship. dont let your daughter be a victim |
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April 22, 2006, 8:54 am PDT
Quote From: lemondrop The numbers are frightening. 1 in 4 girls will be in an abusive relationship.
95 % of teenage girls in this type of relationship do NOT reach out for help.
Learn to recognize the warning signs
ISOLATION Does your daughter have less friends now than before she met her boyfriend? An abusive boy will isolate his girlfriend from her friends....in overt or covert ways, he may isolate her from friends, then outside activities at school, then her family. Without this social support system she will then become dependent on him emotionally and when necessary find it hard to leave.
EMOTIONAL CHANGES In the beginning or early on in the infatuation stage she will be happy. Once the boy becomes abusive she will become sullen, sad...desperate. May cry more or want to be alone.
CONSTANT COMMUNICATION Does your daughter boyfriend constantly page her, call her and she must call him back immediately? He might ask her where she is , whats she doing, who is she with, what time will she be back and how many boys has she spoken to that day.
JEALOUSY ISSUES You might notice the boyfriends jealousy, if she looks or speaks to another boy. Does he get upset? Does he tell her how to wear make-up or not...criticize her clothes, her friends? Did he tell her that he loves her early on in the relationship? This is his "hook" your daughter might find this romantic, but it can be a "red flag" for jealousy or control issues.
BOYFRIENDS BACKGROUND If the boyfriend comes from a tragic background a tragic home life, it could mean trouble. Is there alcohol, drugs, or abuse in the home? He may not be far behind in one or both parents behavior.
NEED TO IMPRESS When he gives her "advice" in clothing, friends, makeup, hairstyle...does she follow his every word? Your daughter may be completely in denial and be in fear of what he may do if she doesn't change these things to suit him.
MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM Your daughter may stick up for the boyfriend...defending his words and actions. Don't let her denial force you to ignore your "gut." He may have convinced her that she is too sensitive to what he says, or that he is only kidding when he really meant what he said and did.
Thank you so much for your many postings. This is the one that I first read and that touched me the most. It is right on. Every single thing listed here is Brian and Coryns relationship. I printed it out for her to read. I haven't given it to her yet. She is a bit overwhelmed with people coming up to her at school and work saying that they saw her on the show. She does not want to talk about it yet. She has a counceling session set up for Tuesday and I am very excited. I have hope that she will find her way again and learn why she is in this kind of relationship and know she deserves better. It is still a contstant daily battle but I have on my armor and ready to continue the fight as long as needed. Thank you so much. I know you have helped many people and will continue to help them Melody |
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July 24, 2006, 2:26 pm PDT
Quote From: Pleasance The numbers are frightening. 1 in 4 girls will be in an abusive relationship.
95 % of teenage girls in this type of relationship do NOT reach out for help.
Learn to recognize the warning signs
ISOLATION Does your daughter have less friends now than before she met her boyfriend? An abusive boy will isolate his girlfriend from her friends....in overt or covert ways, he may isolate her from friends, then outside activities at school, then her family. Without this social support system she will then become dependent on him emotionally and when necessary find it hard to leave.
EMOTIONAL CHANGES In the beginning or early on in the infatuation stage she will be happy. Once the boy becomes abusive she will become sullen, sad...desperate. May cry more or want to be alone.
CONSTANT COMMUNICATION Does your daughter boyfriend constantly page her, call her and she must call him back immediately? He might ask her where she is , whats she doing, who is she with, what time will she be back and how many boys has she spoken to that day.
JEALOUSY ISSUES You might notice the boyfriends jealousy, if she looks or speaks to another boy. Does he get upset? Does he tell her how to wear make-up or not...criticize her clothes, her friends? Did he tell her that he loves her early on in the relationship? This is his "hook" your daughter might find this romantic, but it can be a "red flag" for jealousy or control issues.
BOYFRIENDS BACKGROUND If the boyfriend comes from a tragic background a tragic home life, it could mean trouble. Is there alcohol, drugs, or abuse in the home? He may not be far behind in one or both parents behavior.
NEED TO IMPRESS When he gives her "advice" in clothing, friends, makeup, hairstyle...does she follow his every word? Your daughter may be completely in denial and be in fear of what he may do if she doesn't change these things to suit him.
MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM Your daughter may stick up for the boyfriend...defending his words and actions. Don't let her denial force you to ignore your "gut." He may have convinced her that she is too sensitive to what he says, or that he is only kidding when he really meant what he said and did.
National Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663 HOUROFPOWER.ORG has 24 hour New Hope & Teen Hope online FREE counselors www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html 714NEWTEEN 714-639-8336 714NEWHOPE 714-639-4673 (The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)) 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE). http://www.rainn.org It is FREE, it is confidential and it is answered 24/7. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LINKS FOR HELP Domestic Violence: www.ndvh.org 1-800-799-7233 countries a-z: www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html |
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