Replies to '04/17 Dangerous Kids'

Quote From: usafmomx4

I agree it does not happen overnight.  Unless there's head trauma, seriously, this is a learned behavior.  As for the spanking?  It works when they're little to get their attention but at 14, LLCOOLT yes, it is probably extreme at that age.  I feel for you but it had to have started a long time ago as it has to have happened for all the kids on the show.  I'm not an expert and I'll never write a book on parenting but I haven't had any problems with my kids.  Knock on wood!!  But we're open with all our kids, they know there are consequences to all their actions.  You can't "talk" to a 2 year old on the hows and whys an oven is dangerous or going to close to the edge of the street can mean being squished by a car. But after a couple of "no"s being ignored a swat on the butt gets major attention.  Then talking, timeouts and privileges revoked as they get older puts everything in perspective.  But love is the basis for it all.  Our kids fight, like all kids.  Cats and Dogs, as the saying goes!  But not everyday.  Tempers flare like normal families, we've just gotten creative.  When our "twins" (boy/girl") fight we've written down the "names" they've called each other and when tempers cooled down we had them read it to each other.  Let me tell you it works.  When you're not mad and you have to read aloud all the mean things you yelled at the table with the whole family watching it doesn't make you feel like a winner.  The kids realized how hurtful they were and are truly sorry and especially embarrassed for acting "dumb".  It ends up in a laughfest because the names were really made up on the spot. We haven't done that in a long time because they haven't wanted to "read" to the family.  When they were younger and they liked to "hit" each other, we taped they're arms together.  The had to work together with 3 arms.  They cried and whined but they stopped fighting and there was no more hitting!  You can't run when you're victim is within arms reach.  Is this extreme to you?  It wasn't done maliciously and we warned them. NO One was hurt and it showed them that family will always be there.  Discipline can be funny just as long it proves that you love them over and over and no matter what.  Even when they were mad at us we could make them smile (which made them madder).  We even had them watch Mom and Dad act out one of their fighting scenes to prove how dumb the subject matter was.  It's a lot of work but it does work.  Kids are an investment.  If you can't handle the ups and downs don't trade the chromosones!!