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Replies to '04/17 Dangerous Kids'

 
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April 17, 2006, 7:15 am PDT

Dangerous Kids

Quote From: susanpear

Hi Groovy, it's Susanpear.

 

How are you?  I'm good.  Upon reading your response to Busterss, I feel led to comment.  I am torn between the two sides "Spare the rod, spoil the child" and "Violence begets violence".  With all due respect to you, I would like to share something.  I realize you may not be a Christian, so I don't mean to offend you in any way.

 

I attended our Good Friday service.  The subject of  Jesus' death started out as "why would a Father allow this to happen to His Son?"  Jesus was obedient unto death on the cross.  Of course He is God's Son and created solely for our redemption.  No other person is born for that purpose, of course, which includes children of the past and today.  The rest of us are born with a sinful nature.  Jesus was sinless.  He made the perfect sacrifice for our sins, and He is alive again so we can triumph over death.  God does not want us to live in fear or be inconsiderate, spoiled brats  But He does expect a healthy respect in our attitude toward Him and others.  There is a balance that needs to be achieved here.

 

Now,  I am NOT advocating violence at all!  The spanking issue is controversial, I agree.  There are many clever ways to discipline our children.  Sometimes, parents like me do not have anyone to talk to or get advise from in the heat of the moment.  Since becoming a mom in 1988, I saw that many kids are too aggresive, spoiled, contradictory, interruptive and show poor manners.  I did employ spanks when they were very young after they were warned first.  I did not do it the second they acted up or disobeyed.  I agree that Busterss came across more extreme.  However, he does have a point.  Kids take over and become little tyrants if we stay passive.  My girls were very good at the baby and elementary school age.  I knew the physical discipline had to stop AFTER THEY WERE OLDER, and learn to impose more effective consequences instead.  It's about getting a grip on the children while they are very young.  Sometimes spanking backfires and the effects depend upon the temper of the parent employing it.  I remember how much more respectful kids were to their parents when I was a kid.  Kids did fear their parents more, but the parents also showered them with love when they were behaving respectfully.   A firm hand is needed for kids of today.  That does not necessarily mean spanking, but somehow the children need to know that the parent is to be obeyed - not disrepected!

 

Thanks for listening.  Hope you are healthy and happy. Susan

 

 

Very well stated Susan...I enjoyed your post...Thank you.....Annette
 

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April 17, 2006, 11:36 am PDT

Comments

Quote From: susanpear

Hi Groovy, it's Susanpear.

 

How are you?  I'm good.  Upon reading your response to Busterss, I feel led to comment.  I am torn between the two sides "Spare the rod, spoil the child" and "Violence begets violence".  With all due respect to you, I would like to share something.  I realize you may not be a Christian, so I don't mean to offend you in any way.

 

I attended our Good Friday service.  The subject of  Jesus' death started out as "why would a Father allow this to happen to His Son?"  Jesus was obedient unto death on the cross.  Of course He is God's Son and created solely for our redemption.  No other person is born for that purpose, of course, which includes children of the past and today.  The rest of us are born with a sinful nature.  Jesus was sinless.  He made the perfect sacrifice for our sins, and He is alive again so we can triumph over death.  God does not want us to live in fear or be inconsiderate, spoiled brats  But He does expect a healthy respect in our attitude toward Him and others.  There is a balance that needs to be achieved here.

 

Now,  I am NOT advocating violence at all!  The spanking issue is controversial, I agree.  There are many clever ways to discipline our children.  Sometimes, parents like me do not have anyone to talk to or get advise from in the heat of the moment.  Since becoming a mom in 1988, I saw that many kids are too aggresive, spoiled, contradictory, interruptive and show poor manners.  I did employ spanks when they were very young after they were warned first.  I did not do it the second they acted up or disobeyed.  I agree that Busterss came across more extreme.  However, he does have a point.  Kids take over and become little tyrants if we stay passive.  My girls were very good at the baby and elementary school age.  I knew the physical discipline had to stop AFTER THEY WERE OLDER, and learn to impose more effective consequences instead.  It's about getting a grip on the children while they are very young.  Sometimes spanking backfires and the effects depend upon the temper of the parent employing it.  I remember how much more respectful kids were to their parents when I was a kid.  Kids did fear their parents more, but the parents also showered them with love when they were behaving respectfully.   A firm hand is needed for kids of today.  That does not necessarily mean spanking, but somehow the children need to know that the parent is to be obeyed - not disrepected!

 

Thanks for listening.  Hope you are healthy and happy. Susan

 

 

Hi Susan, great to hear from you.  Doing well & glad to have taxes out of the way.

 

Re. the Easter service, I think we're all capable of both good & bad behavior, given the right or wrong circumstances, so that probably jives with us all being sinners.

 

I too see too many aggressive, spoiled, ill-mannered children & I think that stems from lack of discipline.  (And discipline does not equate with spanking.)  I think many of today's parents are waaay too lenient, parenting from guilt , wanting to be the kid's friend, & never wanting the kid to experience frustration of any kind.  It's easy short-term to take the easy way out:  giving in to every tantrum or the other easy way out (spanking) to obtain short-term order in the household or public place where the kid is having a tantrum.  It's more work in the short-term to establish time outs, loss of priviledges, etc:  non-corporal consistent punishment & rewards.  But in the long-term, the household is more orderly & the child is well-behaved out of respect, not out of fear. 

 

 

 


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