Replies to '08/02 "I Love Myself!"'

I am literally shaking from my desk at work. I stayed home  today to watch as did other family members in anticipation of this show.This topic is more near and dear to my heart. For all of you out there with perfect kids and even the ones that have realized resolution from and out of control child, I am happy for you.  

   

For those of you who find no rest or respite from the life of raising a "Shannon".. my heart bleeds for you, at lease what is left of the blood that hasn't already been drained from my body!  

   

HOW DARE any of you not see the vial and demonic nature these children can possess. Weather it is biological, neurological, environmental or just plain oppositional conduct, FIND PITY for these parents.  

   

AGREE.. the step mom needs a heart transplant. But Dad, If only I could have reached through my TV screen and hugged him as well as the sibling I would have confirmed their fears, nightmares, and the realities that were blatantly denied them on National Television.  

   

Did I have wax in my ears when the quite humble statements were made that this child exhibited uncontrollable behavior since she was four? Did I hear the countless attempts to reach mental health providers as well as consult with the child of the limited options she is faced with in trying to survive in this chaotic world? I almost felt had the deceased Mother been present she too would have been the culprit of blame for the maladjustment and insensitivity towards this "child" who may I remind you is a young adult capable of emancipating herself from these accused thoughtless, selfish family if she can find a kinder more gentler world for which she can manipulate and destroy?  

   

Forgive me for not accrediting myself with a resume of a mother of an out of control child. I have denied myself of any happiness, watched the demise of my 20 year  marriage, rescue my younger sons daily if not hourly from the torment and abuse of my 15 year old daughter, who bu the way, I love with every inch of what is left of my well educated and now diminishing wellbeing.  

   

We too sent our daughter on the threatening request of local, county ans state therapeutic practitioners to a level 3 boarding facility, ironically the same program as Shannon only a different campus. We too were instructed to basically kidnap her with the intent of taking her on a vacation as well as having her physician medicate her prior to the road trip. We too had to leave our troubled child in the hands of so- called professionals and then asked to leave to await her return upon completing the "program". Wee too went a year without seeing or talking to our child because she failed to earn credential levels to warrant phone privileges as well as campus visitations. We too called the campus daily to keep a continuing pulse on the child we so desperately want to receive help...And then, we too had to pull our daughter from the program after 11 months of silence and her obvious ability to manipulate and and all participation in the program in order to receive privileges or be reunited with her family who were suffering hour by hour at the thought of her absence from the family home as well as the guilt we harbored at our perhaps complacent actions advised by professionals not to mention the $50,000 commitment to the program that ultimately led to the foreclosure of our home. Since it has come to the attention of the press that these"campuses" are no more than holding tanks for unruly youth. I can assure you from speaking with their "programmed" parents, Well marketed brochures, and a manipulative sensitive Web site aimed at parents in crisis.  

   

Were we right? Wrong question! Were we acting responsibly? Absolutely!  

   

I am no stranger to the corrupt and delinquent mental health system in our country. The disaster is greatly magnified when it comes to our children. The venue still remains in most of our municipalities.. the child either changes and adapts or the child is removed. Black and White.  No Process, no true intervention. Shear destruction of the struggling households and families just reaching out for the American Dream for their families only to be beaten alive by the system as well as your own child. Having children is a blessing, a privilege as well as the single largest sacrifice a woman can make. Finding joy only in the faces of once close friends who now stand in judgment of our parenting skills as they whisk off in their well vacuumed min-vans to soccer practice and Ballet recitals. I am at home behind locked doors checking caller IDs  for bill collectors,mentoring  what is left of my other two children and trying to keep my beautiful talented daughter from bludgeoning herself and others in order to deal with the demons that quite honestly remain a mystery to her as well as her practicing therapists.  

   

If there are any other parents out here with similar experiences and would like to be heard, consoled or just affirmed that sanity must lay with moral and emotional support, not guilt ridden introspection of our perceived failures.  

   

Please feel free to e-mail me at artfuldiva@nc.rr.com . Please subject your mail as MOM to MOM. And if you can find the courage, I am willing to do what it takes to find a way to get the attention of Dr. Phil and his staff to hear from the damaged souls who are only trying to cope with the challenges of raising our children with conflicting manuals of instruction and fear of loosing them to "Columbine", suicide,and the inept judicial system they will most Likley head towards once they completely reject our efforts as parents.  

   

My heart , my soul appreciate the time you took to read this post.  

Samsmom.  

   

 

Hilary, one key part of Narcissitic Personanlity Disorder is that the person projects their own problems onto someone who is vulnerable.  You are clearly the one with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  It is so black and white.  You are supposed to be the adult here and instead you're playing the victim with a child! It is so creepy!!!!  You have divided and conquored this precious child out of your family.   Shannon has clearly been severely emotionally neglected.  No wonder she needs attention!  @#$%&! straight she need attention.  YOU are not the children here!  Shannon is.  You people need to grow up and take responsibility.   Positive loving motherly (and fatherly) attention is exactly what she needs and it's exactly what she isn't getting.  What is she supposed to do?  She is a dependant child.  She just trying to have a voice here.  These parents need to be refered to CPS.  They are abusive.

Shannon, my heart goes out to you!  This is so not your fault!!!!  You have every right to be angry.  You need to feel you anger in order to let it go.  Let it out in therapy and write it out in your journal. Let yourself grieve and cry.  You have a lot to grieve.  Your mom has died.  You have been neglected ever since your sister was born.   Your parents have clearly not given you what you need.  It totally stinks, but don't give up.  Little by little as you let your anger go, you'll be have to give yourself the love and respect that you deserve, because they may have permenatly dropped the ball.  Your life is going to be so much better after you grow up and start your own family.  You are a beautiful person, who has been through Hadies.  Your sister is too young to see the light. 

Sister, you and Shannon are the only sane ones here.  Please give Shannon some support here!!!!!  You both need one anothers love and support!  You've been through a lot. 

Shannon, good luck in life.  You'll eventually get to put these lunies behind you.  I hope that you'll find some "safe mom" role models who will nurture you.  You deserve it.  You'll be a better (future) mother because of this.  You will have learned empathy for innocent defenseless children.  You'll be the mom that you didn't have.

It's not, so don't expect anything on NPD. Shannon may have some problems (as most young people do), but the show's really about a clueless father and a wicked stepmother. Dr. Phil sees thru the crap quickly and places much of the blame where it belongs...with step-mommy dearest! Only daddy and step-mommy don't seem to have a clue...even by the end of the show. Poor Shannon. Hopefully she's doing well now; she deserves it after being the scapegoat for so long.