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Replies to 'Troubled Teens'
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August 25, 2005, 10:46 am PDT
 Quote From: candycvky My daughter has been suffering depression since early teens. She has been seeing a therapist since she was 16. She is now 17. Everytime it is time to start school, she starts making bad decisions. She starts being sick, migraines. She recently went off her birth control stating she just missed a few, was having unprotected sex with boyfriend, then thought she was pregnant. I try to explain how her choices are making her physical symptoms and how they are really bad decisions, but then she starts blaming me, I have never been there for her, that I have no right giving her advice now. I know it is because she doesn't want to face herself, but I am at the end of my rope. So is her granny. I have her staying with her granny to have allergy shots to help with the migraines and she was fine with it because her granny would let her get away with things me and her step-father wouldn't. Now her granny doesn't and she isn't liking it and saying I have abandoned her. I am the one paying the bills still, and taking her to many of her appointments, but she says I never have time for her. I have tried to tell the therapist this, but I am not sure how far that is going. I keep trying to help myself to help her, but helping her takes alot of time and money. Any suggestions. Yes, mom...its going to take alot of time and money!! Is your daughter on medication for her depression? Is her therepist aware of your daughter's attempt to get pregnant? Thats what she's doing...she has low self esteem, and she thinks that if she gets pregnant, her boyfriend won't leave her...which is very flawed thinking. She sounds desperate for your time. Its time to take her home. You need to know where she is every hour of every day and what she is doing. Stop blaming yourself and start taking action. Kids can't raise themselves, teens definatly can't raise themselves, even though they think they know what they want. She is displaying self destructive behavior by having unprotected sex, and thats because she doesn't think she is worthy of having a healthy and happy life. You might want to find an alternative therepist, someone who specializes in teens and self destructive behavior, not just depression, because there should be some results from her therepy by now. Sometimes, a person and their therepist just don't "click", and that might be what is happening with your daughter. Ask her. This is going to harder before it gets easier! |
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August 27, 2005, 6:19 pm PDT
Quote From: candycvky My daughter has been suffering depression since early teens. She has been seeing a therapist since she was 16. She is now 17. Everytime it is time to start school, she starts making bad decisions. She starts being sick, migraines. She recently went off her birth control stating she just missed a few, was having unprotected sex with boyfriend, then thought she was pregnant. I try to explain how her choices are making her physical symptoms and how they are really bad decisions, but then she starts blaming me, I have never been there for her, that I have no right giving her advice now. I know it is because she doesn't want to face herself, but I am at the end of my rope. So is her granny. I have her staying with her granny to have allergy shots to help with the migraines and she was fine with it because her granny would let her get away with things me and her step-father wouldn't. Now her granny doesn't and she isn't liking it and saying I have abandoned her. I am the one paying the bills still, and taking her to many of her appointments, but she says I never have time for her. I have tried to tell the therapist this, but I am not sure how far that is going. I keep trying to help myself to help her, but helping her takes alot of time and money. Any suggestions. I am sorry you are going through this. I am too.
I have a 14 year old daughter with Bipolar. Has anyone ever talked to you abou tthe symptoms of bipolar?
The reaosn I ask is you say she goes off her BCP and tried to get pregnant. That can actually be a sign of mania. It is called hypersexuality and often girls do just what you describe.
Also you speak of things happening before/during school. I am wondering if you have ever had her tested for a special education IEP. She may be having difficulty in school and need extra support or even different classes. The main reason I felt I needed to reach out to you is because you mentioned that your daughter gets "migraines and is sick". My daughter did this too and when I pushed her to go to school she actually saw her headaches, throwing up and being sick as a failed attempt to accomplish one goal, TO NOT have to go to school. She threw herself down 16 stairs in my home. Luckily she broke no bones and was only bruised but my point in telling you this is one. Be careful for every failed attempt these kids will raise the stakes.
If she has moods swings, that go from depressed to angry, violent, "giddy" or silly you may want to talk to someone who specializes in pediatric or early on-set bipolar disorder. If she is taking an anti-depressant and doe sin fact have bipolar, the medication can actually be making her symptoms worse.
I do not want to scare I just want you to know many kids are diagnosed incorrectly, my daughter was one of them. They told me she was depressed when really she was bipolar and needed to be treated with different medications to control the cycling.
If you want to ask me any questions you can email me at mommaoof2@yahoo.com
tammy |
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March 6, 2006, 4:59 pm PST
Quote From: candycvky My daughter has been suffering depression since early teens. She has been seeing a therapist since she was 16. She is now 17. Everytime it is time to start school, she starts making bad decisions. She starts being sick, migraines. She recently went off her birth control stating she just missed a few, was having unprotected sex with boyfriend, then thought she was pregnant. I try to explain how her choices are making her physical symptoms and how they are really bad decisions, but then she starts blaming me, I have never been there for her, that I have no right giving her advice now. I know it is because she doesn't want to face herself, but I am at the end of my rope. So is her granny. I have her staying with her granny to have allergy shots to help with the migraines and she was fine with it because her granny would let her get away with things me and her step-father wouldn't. Now her granny doesn't and she isn't liking it and saying I have abandoned her. I am the one paying the bills still, and taking her to many of her appointments, but she says I never have time for her. I have tried to tell the therapist this, but I am not sure how far that is going. I keep trying to help myself to help her, but helping her takes alot of time and money. Any suggestions. I don't have any answers for you unfortunately other than don't give up no matter how tired, broke, depressed or what ever else you may feel don't give up on your daughter. I have three teen agers in my house and it is the girls who make me the craziest. One of them is my step daughter and she has tried to see how far she can push me to this day but I just try to be strong and not let on that she gets to me. I just keep on loving her yes I do get mad sometimes and it would be so easy to just throw in the towel but unfotunately that is not an option. My oldest is about to move out in a couple months to a major city that is two and a half hours away from her dad and I and I'm scared to death for her but it doesn't matter what I say she will do as she pleases. Be strong and you will percevere. Mayba try to find out what interests her and try to have a girls day out even if it is window shopping in a favorite store or a sport that she likes to do it may take everything in you to participate but it may bring you closer and she will know how important she is to you. Sometimes kids just need a little one one time and being you are her mother you are truly the most important person to her. You can do things that aren't costly even a camping trip that includes you and her and make sure it is at place that has some things to offer so you aren't trying to find things to entertain her. |
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