I totally agree with Buckleypat about the dog whisperer (NGEO station Fri. eve.). I've been watching in amazement for a month and have just started his new book. Exercise, Discipline, Affection, IN THAT ORDER. When my daughter was very young, she would get so angry and frustrated, when she misbehaved and was sent to her room, that she would pound on her thighs while she sat on her bed. I would have her ride the exercise bike, or run around the block or ride her bike to get rid of all that energy, and then we would talk about it and then hugs and kisses. I believe if I had understood about being the Packleader and being calm/assertive with my children, and not being so afraid to be "hated" when I disciplined them, things would have gone so much better.
Now, I have a 6 year old grandson who has been diagnosed with probably bi-polar, possible Asperger's, and possible ADHD. His IQ is at least 145 (he's in 1st grade and reads at a 5th grade level) and when he is calm, he's terrific. He has very violent outbursts, and if not restrained he would trash the house. The neurologist recommended his mother put away all the sharp objects. When he has an outburst, it's like he's in another zone. He doesn't hear, he doesn't see, he's just so intensely in this rage, screaming and hitting out and kicking. He's on several meds, but they only work for a couple of weeks, then seem to become ineffective. I'm very concerned that we're going to lose him sooner or later. If the meds don't work, he's going to have to go to a residential treatment facility, because my daughter won't be able to handle him as he gets older. And when I see in the news about a young guy killing his whole family, I wonder if my poor grandson could do the same one day, in his blind rage.
A caution to parents who have children who need to be restrained either by them or by teachers at school. Please be sure you or anyone doesn't constrict the chest and upper abdomen so that the child can't breathe. The diaphragm is in the upper abdomen, and it is very easy to clutch too hard. If the child starts yelling that they can't breathe, you need to let up. Be sure that the school personnel has been trained in proper restraint techniques. Chidlren and adults have actually suffocated to death during improper restraints. One teacher's aid had him bent forward with his legs outstretched and his head on his knees, leaning on him to keep him in that positionl and it constricted his breathing. Can you imagine being 6 and a grownup doing that and not listening to your pleas that you can't breathe? She thought he was just saying that so she would let him go. Like the kid doesn't have enough problems!
Sorry to run on. It's been so hard to deal with this, this is the first time I've been able to really vent.
