Replies to 'Cheated On'

   Go to talk to an attorney. You don't have to do this as a definate decision, just go to find out what your rights are under the laws where you live. Information is empowerment.

  You know your husband has a sex and drinking problem. He does not think of rejecting you sexually the same way you do. Part of him is thinking he does not deserve pure or marital sex because he has been with hookers etc...he is not going to think rationally until he has the addictions in a recovery state. You are allowing him to stay addicted by taking care of him.

  You are so right 46 is too young to remian sexless!! And any age is too young to live without comfort and physical contact.

  You need to suggest that HE get std test, asap. He could be shortenign his life span from having an illness he doesn't even know about.

Just to say you are not alone in dealing with a husband that wonders.  I just experienced not the exactly the same thing but similar.  I told my husband that I was giving him the freedom that he wanted.  He replied by saying that's not what I want. I said that's not what your actions are telling me.  Believe me this was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life and it has been difficult to sustain as I still love him and have three children at home.  Before he moved out (2wks ago) I gave hime a choice; If you want to have this marriage then you must be 100% committed to me and our family, nothing less is acceptable.  I gave him Dr Phil's book Life Stategies to help him identify his shortcomings and hopefully gain insight into his stupid actions. It has been very difficult for himself as well as he has trouble understanding himself, but I do believe this is the first time he has ever been challenged to be a better person and not settle for less.  To go any further into detail would take forever to understand the whole picture, but I completely understand how you must be feeling.  To feel rejected by someone you gave your heart to is difficult to bear and understand.  I suggest that read Dr Phil's Life stategies to help you identify want you want in your life.  Start focusing on your desires and needs, make decisions to preserve yourself.  You must decide what you are willing to live with or not willing to live with not anyone else.  Information and knowledge is the best type of power.  I am 40years old/young and find this scary but I will not live my life anymore in pain and fear!  You can not change him, he has to want to change himself!!!!