Replies to 'Being a Good Friend'

I have been good friends with J.  She has been through SO much the last fews years, a bad divorce, stalker ex husband, bad custody battle (which she LOST, wonder why) and recently her Mom passed away.  Well I too went through a bad divorce but I handled it so different.  I think it made me more independent, while it made her Dependant on others, so to speak. She has been living with her Grandmother in a trailer, not giving her a dime (she makes over 50k a year!).  She only sees her kid on the weekends, but always sneaks out to go party the town up when he goes to bed.  Anyhow..... She meet some guy that she really liked.  she would tell me all this nice stuff about him but he seemed very shady and hiding something.  He was only around once in awhile, he would have his cousin call her if he couldn't make it somewhere, no car, she would pay for their dates, he works construction, she was almost going to finance him a car but decided not to (thank god).  Well needless to day after a few months of being his "booty call" (she thinks it was a relationship, even though he told her from the beginning that he did not want a girlfriend), she found out he was dating someone else and she was knocked up.  (WOW what a shocker!).  Well I was there for her, she cried on my shoulder, he used her for sex and for her money.   Well sure enough, his cousin was SO kind to be there for her during this time of need.  Such a good friend he became and so enough she was sleeping with him and helping him.  Saying how even though they are related, even work together, that he is SO different than his cousin (the one that was cheating on her).  So she fell for it again but with the cousin.  I warned her over and over again, seeing the pattern in his behavior.  she would pay, she would drive him around, added him to her cell phone and was there at his beck and call (he lives with the other cousin) .  She would tell me how great he was.  WELL of course just this week, she found out that he was cheating on her too!  He told her that he didn't cheat because he told her he didn't want a girlfriend from the beginning.  Well in the mist of all of this mess, her mom passed away and she doesn't have much family.  I was there for her every step.  Picked out the flowers with her, helped her pay, helped her with the program, pictures, so forth.  Being a good friend.  Well now she is best buddies with the two cousins sister now.  WHO happens to live in the same apartment as them.  So she complains to me that she runs into them and they girlfriends and so on.  I told her maybe she not hang out there, since she just found out about the new guy was cheating on her last week.  BUT she insists that the sister is so helpful.  Who mind you, doesn't have a job, no car, lives with the family, married but has a boyfriend and has 4 kids that she doesn't take care of.   Bottom line, I am DONE with the drama.  I get emails, calls and complaints all the time about these people but she puts herself in that position all the time.  They all use her, she drives them around and helps them out, because NOW the sister is such a good friend.  (yeah good friend that never once told her that her brother was cheating on her !).  I have been there for her through it all over the years.  And I feel like I am the "old" friend, the good friend, the back up friend.  NONE of these people even came to the service for her mother.  They all called and said something came up.  My friend calls me up once a week or so to come over and hang out when she is down or lonely but come to find out it's only when this other girl (the sister of the two losers) is not home.  AM I being a bad friend by declining this now?  I feel like I have been there for her but I can't take the complaining anymore.