Replies to 'Depression'

Marcy,   

         I know how you feel. Your story and mine are almost the same. From the chilhood molestation, to turning to drugs and alcohol, to never being diagnosed, to having no friends and then some. I am 28 years-old and a wife and mother of 3 young children. I've been depressed for a long time but never been told by a doctor that I had depression, instead I was told I had anxiety. It all began in my childhood when I was teased, bullied, made fun and told I would never amount to anything by everyone around me, including my own family. My dad was an alcoholic who would take his anger out on us from time to time. I was molested by a man who lived across the alleyway from where we lived and then not believed by my family. I have struggled with my weight all my life. I too started looking up on depression. It really came to a boil 7 years ago when the biological father of my 2 oldest children left me when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with our second child, then a few weeks later I gave birth to my son, and we haven't seen him since, then four months later my dad died of a massive heart attack. That was when I began to use drugs, I was already smoking pot, but then I tried prib's drugs Vicodin and Valium and going out drinking nearly every night not coming home to 7am, leaving my children with my mom or one of my sister's. I became an unfit mom, a drug addict and an alcoholic, before I knew it my children and I where homeless, living in a $65.00 a night motel, eating nothing but PB &J sanwhiches. It was terrible. Then I had an awakening and decided to change my life. I moved from my home town of Chicago to Georgia in Sept. of 2001. I met my husband in October of 2001 and we've been together ever since and were married in Feb. of 2003. I've never been happier, but my depreesion has never left and now it's taking it's toll on not just me, but my whole family. I try and tell myself just get over it and move on, but it never works by days end I back feeling like no one cares or understands me. I went from living in a big city like Chicago, to a very small town, it was a big adjustment for both my children and I and if it wasn't for my husband and his family, I don't know where my children and I would be. He too tries to help, but he really doesn't understand and tells me to go see a doctor. We don't have a car, there's no transportation whatsoever where we live, its a rural country town, we live on a low income, my husband is self-employed and work varies and I can't work because of transportation, the nearestr gas station from our house is like 8 miles away and the nearest wal-mart is like 25 miles away, so jobs are few and far between. So all I can say is keep the faith, if you believe in God, pray and ask for others to pray for you. Go see your doctor, thatr is what everyone on these boards will tell you, and the're right. And keep coming back here, these boards are a great help. Please keep in touch, I would really like to hear how everything is going with you. Take care & God bless.   

Best Regards,  

Patti a.k.a emma08  

patticake411@bellsouth.net