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April 19, 2006, 6:05 pm PDT
04/19 Teen Dating and Abuse
Quote From: amychidAfter watching the entire show it really hurts to see other teens going through what I went through at 18 years old. I actually volunteered at a women's shelter at 20 years old. After that experience I thank God every day I am out of that relationship. My parents to this day still do not know the entire story or the horror of abuse I endured. At times I wonder how I survived. These girls need to know that the guys are trying to bring them down even more to their level for control purposes. The abuse only gets worse it doesn't get better or easier to deal with at any time. The fact that the parents have stepped in is a wonderful support to these girls, however, it takes so much more. These teen girls must have the esteem to walk out of the relationship and cut off all ties once they walk. I have a four year degree in counseling due to my experiences and wanting to help others. I see girls and women today in this type of situation and all you can do is tell them "I know". I only hope these girls realize how serious abuse is and learn skills to get out of the situation and stay away from situations such as abuse in the future. Your message caught my eye, b/c you have been thru this and survived. I am a good parent who knows a lot about children. But when it comes to your own daughter, it is another story! She is 18, good student, well liked, extremely attractive, yet allows herself to be emotionally abused by a boyfriend for the last 3 years. She has all the family support you could imagine. Initially, we welcomed him into our home. We started seeing the signs, teasing, put downs, mood swings on his part. She could see it herself but wouldn't leave it for fear of being "alone". That nobody else would ever ask her out. 8 months ago when she came home with a large bruise on her thigh, we said that is it. He has not been allowed in our home. We have learned that is not a matter of just saying NO. They will continue to see one another. Finally they have broken up. He dumped her after prom last week. She says she is through with him. She actually started talking to another guy on the phone and is giddy about having a date this Saturday. I am afraid to be happy for her, for fear she will still go back to the first guy. We have tried to make sure she knows we love her and will always be here for her but we will not welcome anyone into our family who is abusive. Is this whole thing a matter of patience on the part of the parent? That they must make their own decision. Just this week, I feel like I have gotten my daughter back, the girl who would laugh, be silly and want to spend time with her family. I just pray it last.
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