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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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April 25, 2006, 5:56 pm PDT
 Quote From: jasonsbby About 17 years ago, I met two children for the first time. I was only 17 and was engaged to their dad. His ex and he had married early had kids broke up and she gave them to her grandma to raise. Their mom, who gave them up mind you, was stated in their divorce papers as being more possessive than maternal.
From the first time I met them, I loved them as my own. When people asked how many children do you have, I never said HE has three, I always said WE have three. I never wanted to be their mother, but like one to them. She caused every problem she could. She didnt understand when I changed jobs so I could spend more time with them when they came for visits. She told me I would understand when I gave birth. Over 10 years later and I am still waiting to see the difference.
My ex and I broke up 7 years ago. My stepkids say I am their children's grandma. She found out I call myself that and left a harrassing phone message telling me she is "done" explaining they are NOTHING to me.
What can I do to make her see what she is doing is hurting the kids? My ex isn't married to his live in girlfriend but I consider our kid, her child too and that her son is his brother. (they have been together over half the kids lives.) AM I JUST WEIRD? I think kids need all the love and support they can get. Surely it's easy to see that she makes this about her and not the kids. It seems to me that so long as you've been a part of her kids' lives and still are in a positive fashion, it benefits the kids despite the fact you are no longer with the kids' dad. And if the kids are old enough and want you in their lives, mind not how she feels. It something she needs to sort out for herself. I think it's great that you still love and are a part of those kids' lives. It's healthy and in the best interest of the kids. What's the harm? If I read correctly, those kids aren't kids anymore and have kids of their own. They are adults and are capable of making adult decisions. And if they promote you being a part of their lives, I'd worry not how their mom feels. It's a bit understandable in that she may feel threatened by your presence or involvement, but then, if she was content as a good mom, she'd not worry about it. You remain in their lives if that's what they want and is best for them. And love them, and be there for them, they'll love you and want you more for that. And it's not about replacing thier mom, they, as adults, know who their mom is. Your concern is a valid one, yet one which should be easy to resolve from what I see. Best of luck!!! |
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