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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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April 21, 2006, 1:15 pm PDT
 Quote From: cryssie I am glad that you feel empowered. I simply wanted to point out that it did not have to be a all or nothing plan. That it is not ok for someone else to make decisions for you. I am a person of convection too, so maybe that's why it bothered me so. I just know that my children are my family and no one will ever take that away from us. I understand your reasons and you are right. It is the best thing for your son that the fighting stop. I also agree that it will all come full circle. Your son will blame one or both of you one day for something. We all do. I just did not want him to blame you for not pursuing what you know he needs. YOU! I know it is not your doings that things are this way. He has his mother everyday, she has made sure of that. I just wanted you to make sure that he always had you. There are ways of getting along and being a part of your sons like without anyone winning or losing. I hope that the letter did help you release your anger and her to release hers too. How have things gone since she received the letter? I hope well. I mean no disrespect. I only want to question your decision because questioning things always helps us make better decisions. You know what is best for you and your son. I only respond because my heart goes out to you and I wish you well. Good Luck!!! I realize where you're coming from. Trust me, I love my son, and it sucks not to be able to be with him as much as he deserves. But what I've done has really changed my outlook on things. My point was to end the fighting, and I've done that. I took control over that matter as no one else did. My son is aware of who I am to him, and how much I mean to him. He also knows that I'm here for him always and forever, no one can take that away. Time with him now is really about him and I. Before, there were times the problems would affect him as it took time away from him. I'd be researching the law and court cases. My focus, then, was holding on to what I had. My focus now? Him! And that's what it all boils down to. My life is devoted to him.
My ex-wife never even responded to my letter to her. And I don't know that I expected any response anyway. That was addressed to her with no intent other than to end the fighting. And it's done that. I'm content, and relieved that peace has once again found me. I was really losing it for a long time. The courts, my ex-wife, they all controlled me and my life. I've attained all that back, and I realize that I'm not crazy (I really questioned myself, how good of a father I was to my son, whether I was doing what I was doing for his sake, and that's a horrible experience I'd never want to relive.).
But I thank you for your communication. It's still all a bit raw. I do still become upset over it all. I do go back and forth sometimes, Did I do the right thing? But in the end, I conclude the same, I did!
At the end of the day, my son lost nothing, but gained his father back. Granted, visitation was lost, but now, the time we do have is even that more special to us both. He will appreciate that more. And believe me when I tell you, I know kids express and show their love for their parents often in many ways, but my son does it to an extreme. I feel it everyday all the time, he loves me unconditionally. As do I. And that's the important thing here.
I will continue to accept the choices I've made. Things are getting better. My son is happy. I am happy. And know that nothing is forever. This time taken away from us? It will be returned in multitudes. He will one day make enhance what we now have.
Thanks again! |
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