Replies to '07/06 Baby Wars'

I must be doing something wrong....I have two children and between the 9months for each pregnancy plus months and months of breastfeeding, the fact that I have become a living jungle gym for my toddlers, changing endless diapers, wiping noses, lifting heavy strollers, lifting heavy children...........well, it seems my physical burden has surpasses the nine month mark!!!! 

The problem with this issue is that there is a vast difference between what we can agree on morally and what we can enforce legally. In the end, tough decisions are made to protect the children who had no say in either biological parent's immorality or irresponsibility. 

Uh, I think you're the one who needs to "hold on there".  What Mom do you know who is completely done with her "burden" -- physical or otherwise -- after simply giving birth?  Their work is just beginning!  Every day that child needs -- food, love, interaction, bathing, doctor visits, schooling, sports activities, reading, care when ill, religious education, etc., etc., etc.  (Many of these needs require a great deal of physical activity on Mom's part to accomplish!)  And just because her child turns 18, she won't EVER stop being his or her "Mom"! 

So as to "who bears greater consequenses?  The one who steps up to the plate and takes the entire responsibility of the life these two people created.  If Matt Dubay was that adament about not wanting "the consequences" he should have taken his "responsibility" seriously and used his own birth control (condom) rather than expecting someone else to do it for him.  This act is his reproductive right -- but with rights come responsibility and he must now accept his and support his beautiful daughter! 

Wow, Jayriddle, you sure did open up a can of worms when you said that women are done with their physical burden after nine months. You really have no idea. Just for starters, there's all the post-partum recovery. That includes healing of the uterus, any tears or incisions, hemorrhoids, wearing sanitary pads for as much as six weeks and in some cases longer. There's breastfeeding and if there's anything that can make even the most loving earth-mother feel functional, breastfeeding will do it. Big old wet splotches developing on the front of your shirt/dress just because you hear a baby cry in the next aisle of the grocery store or even on a radio or television. Changes to hair and skin that take years to go away, if ever. Then there's that sleep deprivation thing. Now that's a surefire way to put your body on the line. There's all those nightly feedings, staying up late to get laundry done at night, getting back to work even though you're tired and/or conflicted. There's carrying around the baby, there's post-partum development of tenosynovitis, and then there's the half-size changes in shoe size. Physically, it is a whole other experience to go from a 25 inch waistline to 62 and then work to get back down. Baking cookies late at night because "I promised that you would, Mom" or cooking some ethnic meal because "we're studying Spain and I forget to tell you that I signed up to bring paella."  

OMG, I could go on and on forever but I have to stop because I am already smiling with nostalgia. Jewish men thank God everyday for not making them women. Why? Because it is just so much to handle. And why I am I smiling? Because the great magic for so many women is that there is such an abundance of love and joy throughout all these physical burdens. The emotions and attachments to one's child are incomparable. That is true for many women and men. It may be different in form and manifestation but the emotions run just as deep and just as strong for most moms and dads. 

But please, don't lecture to women about the physical burdens of having children.  

When a "woman has a kid"? 

How the heck do you think the "woman HAD the kid"????? 

It' s about time someone grew common sense and realized even though it may be popular and "in style" to sleep around, both parties bear the responsibility. 

Women get choices they shouldn't have, choices they are not qualified to make when it comes to babies and abortion. 

It's time someone stood up and spoke up for the kids 

when men dont stay around women are the ones who have all the burden for the duration of that childs life how can you say itsd just for 9 months. because after the baby is born then the women have the childs life to raise them feed them cloth them and love them while the deadbeat dad just has to pay a little child support so you tell me who has the biggest burden??????????? 

Oh...I must be mistaken on the conversation.  I thought the guy was complaining about paying $500.00 child support for the next 18 years.  I had no idea that the mother was suing him to keep the child to end her 'burden' after her 9 months was done.  HAHAHAHAHA!  Note the sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it on the front end.   

Men's responsiblity: keep it in your pants or make the choice to support the child (money or care) 

Women's responsiblity: keep it zipped or make the choice to support the child (money or care) 

If you think $500.00 a month covers what it takes to rear a child in this day and age, WOW, where have you been?  Not just the money, but the time, the patience, the love, the feedings, the nurturing, the teaching.  Must I go on? 

A woman carries the child for 9 months. That much you have right.  

I have raised 3 children, and I can attest to the fact that the responsibility for a mom does not end after the 9 month gestation. I am responsible for the well being of my child all day and all night until they leave home to live on their own. That was an average of 19 years for me.   

It is a physical ,emotional and mental responsibility to parent a child. It is much more taxing than simply writing a check and mailing it each month. A parent is up at night when the child is sick, gets called to the school when the child gets hurt. A parent trains and teaches a child so that the child can grow up to be an emotionally and physically healthy adult.  

If men and women would wait to have children until they are married and stable, the man would only be "using his body" to support one household instead of 2. Maybe he should consider all that before he uses his body for fun. 

It is all about maturity, responsibility and selflessness.