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Replies to '07/06 Baby Wars'
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April 21, 2006, 12:44 am PDT
 Quote From: jessaca18 Ok, first I know many people will disagree with this and maybe someone will agree but I think that this needs to be said. First I have been in this situation and am now a single parent of a 2 year old boy. When I was 23 I was with someone that was 36 I will call him Mr. Doe. We were together for awhile and we both did not want any children. I was on birth control and was told by a doctor "That it would be impossible for me to conceive without fertility drugs" I took my pill everyday at the same time, i took the fake ones too. I did everything that I was suppose to do so that the pill works right. I WAS NOT on fertility drugs. Mr. Doe and I had sex unprotected a few times we were mainly using the pill. We broke up and about 6 months later I found out I was pregnant. I know this is shocking and I swear that I was going to the doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me the whole time. The doctors tried pregnancy tests, blood tests, exams, and a lot more. I saw specialist I went to 4-5 different doctors all said that I was not pregnant and that I could not have children without fertility treatments. I did not gain any weight I was exercising and dieting. Eventually I felt my son kick in Aug. I went to the doctor still not believing that I was pregnant. They told me I was and that I was due in Nov. I told Mr. Doe and he decided that he was not ready for a child, he did not want me to put him up for adoption. He wanted me to have an abortion. It became a huge fight because an abortion was not an option neither was adoption for me. He made the choice that he wanted nothing to do with the child. I have maintained a email address where he can contact me if he has any questions. He has never had any questions. He has seen my son twice in 2 years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my case and in other cases a man does have choice. Just like Mr. Doe who choose not to use a condom every time. He choice just to depend on my pill and the doctors telling me I could not get pregnant with out fertility drugs. That was his choice. I choose to continue using the pill; But I did not demand him to use a condom every time. The mans choice is 1) To wear a condom or not? 2) To get fixed or not to get fixed? 3) I believe that they now have a pill for a man (I am not positive on this) Are these not choice's... Or are they not enough of a choice? A woman may have more of a choice. A woman may choice to have an abortion even if the man does not want her to have one just as she may choice to have the baby even if the man does not want her too.
Your rant about pre-conception choices applies to both men and women. Your boyfriend trusted you when you told him you could not get pregnant. You trusted your doctor when she told you you could not get pregnant. You both decided to have sex anyhow. You BOTH made the wrong PRE-CONCEPTION choice. Now let's move on, because pre-conception choices are COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM POST-CONCEPTION CHOICES. Once you got pregnant, YOU had several choices -- Adoption. Abortion. Raise the child yourself. Who do you think should bear the responsibility for your choices? You, or your boyfriend? Women's choices, women's responsibilities. Can you handle it? |
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April 21, 2006, 2:41 pm PDT
Quote From: jessaca18 Ok, first I know many people will disagree with this and maybe someone will agree but I think that this needs to be said. First I have been in this situation and am now a single parent of a 2 year old boy. When I was 23 I was with someone that was 36 I will call him Mr. Doe. We were together for awhile and we both did not want any children. I was on birth control and was told by a doctor "That it would be impossible for me to conceive without fertility drugs" I took my pill everyday at the same time, i took the fake ones too. I did everything that I was suppose to do so that the pill works right. I WAS NOT on fertility drugs. Mr. Doe and I had sex unprotected a few times we were mainly using the pill. We broke up and about 6 months later I found out I was pregnant. I know this is shocking and I swear that I was going to the doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me the whole time. The doctors tried pregnancy tests, blood tests, exams, and a lot more. I saw specialist I went to 4-5 different doctors all said that I was not pregnant and that I could not have children without fertility treatments. I did not gain any weight I was exercising and dieting. Eventually I felt my son kick in Aug. I went to the doctor still not believing that I was pregnant. They told me I was and that I was due in Nov. I told Mr. Doe and he decided that he was not ready for a child, he did not want me to put him up for adoption. He wanted me to have an abortion. It became a huge fight because an abortion was not an option neither was adoption for me. He made the choice that he wanted nothing to do with the child. I have maintained a email address where he can contact me if he has any questions. He has never had any questions. He has seen my son twice in 2 years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my case and in other cases a man does have choice. Just like Mr. Doe who choose not to use a condom every time. He choice just to depend on my pill and the doctors telling me I could not get pregnant with out fertility drugs. That was his choice. I choose to continue using the pill; But I did not demand him to use a condom every time. The mans choice is 1) To wear a condom or not? 2) To get fixed or not to get fixed? 3) I believe that they now have a pill for a man (I am not positive on this) Are these not choice's... Or are they not enough of a choice? A woman may have more of a choice. A woman may choice to have an abortion even if the man does not want her to have one just as she may choice to have the baby even if the man does not want her too.
Nicely put. I agree with you. |
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July 6, 2006, 8:42 am PDT
Quote From: jessaca18 Ok, first I know many people will disagree with this and maybe someone will agree but I think that this needs to be said. First I have been in this situation and am now a single parent of a 2 year old boy. When I was 23 I was with someone that was 36 I will call him Mr. Doe. We were together for awhile and we both did not want any children. I was on birth control and was told by a doctor "That it would be impossible for me to conceive without fertility drugs" I took my pill everyday at the same time, i took the fake ones too. I did everything that I was suppose to do so that the pill works right. I WAS NOT on fertility drugs. Mr. Doe and I had sex unprotected a few times we were mainly using the pill. We broke up and about 6 months later I found out I was pregnant. I know this is shocking and I swear that I was going to the doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me the whole time. The doctors tried pregnancy tests, blood tests, exams, and a lot more. I saw specialist I went to 4-5 different doctors all said that I was not pregnant and that I could not have children without fertility treatments. I did not gain any weight I was exercising and dieting. Eventually I felt my son kick in Aug. I went to the doctor still not believing that I was pregnant. They told me I was and that I was due in Nov. I told Mr. Doe and he decided that he was not ready for a child, he did not want me to put him up for adoption. He wanted me to have an abortion. It became a huge fight because an abortion was not an option neither was adoption for me. He made the choice that he wanted nothing to do with the child. I have maintained a email address where he can contact me if he has any questions. He has never had any questions. He has seen my son twice in 2 years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my case and in other cases a man does have choice. Just like Mr. Doe who choose not to use a condom every time. He choice just to depend on my pill and the doctors telling me I could not get pregnant with out fertility drugs. That was his choice. I choose to continue using the pill; But I did not demand him to use a condom every time. The mans choice is 1) To wear a condom or not? 2) To get fixed or not to get fixed? 3) I believe that they now have a pill for a man (I am not positive on this) Are these not choice's... Or are they not enough of a choice? A woman may have more of a choice. A woman may choice to have an abortion even if the man does not want her to have one just as she may choice to have the baby even if the man does not want her too.
The last part of this just confuses me. I am a sexually active female, but it usually is MY decision for my partner to wear a condom. I will not have sex without one, that would be "irresponsible" on my end as well as my partners. It is the choice of both partners to use protection, you should not agree to have intercourse without it. you should demand your partner wear a condom. period.
I think what Matt is doing is great, woman don't want equal rights, they want more rights. if we turned this around and she wanted an abortion and he did not want her to have one and he wanted to take care of this child, he would have no rights to keep her from murdering that baby. Where are the men's rights there. Fact is they dont have rights.
If women dont want to have children they can be "fixed" as well, I plan on doing it as soon as i can convince my doctor I dont want children.
and the argument of "keep it in your pants" is just stupid. Women CHOOSE to have sex as well. Do women think that they HAVE to have sex, do these men brainwash you into irresponsibility? Do they take advantage of you and you cant help it? NO, you make a concious decision to have sex, so you should take responsibilty as well and not pin in on the man to "pay". |
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November 1, 2008, 7:13 pm PDT
Quote From: jessaca18 Ok, first I know many people will disagree with this and maybe someone will agree but I think that this needs to be said. First I have been in this situation and am now a single parent of a 2 year old boy. When I was 23 I was with someone that was 36 I will call him Mr. Doe. We were together for awhile and we both did not want any children. I was on birth control and was told by a doctor "That it would be impossible for me to conceive without fertility drugs" I took my pill everyday at the same time, i took the fake ones too. I did everything that I was suppose to do so that the pill works right. I WAS NOT on fertility drugs. Mr. Doe and I had sex unprotected a few times we were mainly using the pill. We broke up and about 6 months later I found out I was pregnant. I know this is shocking and I swear that I was going to the doctor trying to find out what was wrong with me the whole time. The doctors tried pregnancy tests, blood tests, exams, and a lot more. I saw specialist I went to 4-5 different doctors all said that I was not pregnant and that I could not have children without fertility treatments. I did not gain any weight I was exercising and dieting. Eventually I felt my son kick in Aug. I went to the doctor still not believing that I was pregnant. They told me I was and that I was due in Nov. I told Mr. Doe and he decided that he was not ready for a child, he did not want me to put him up for adoption. He wanted me to have an abortion. It became a huge fight because an abortion was not an option neither was adoption for me. He made the choice that he wanted nothing to do with the child. I have maintained a email address where he can contact me if he has any questions. He has never had any questions. He has seen my son twice in 2 years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my case and in other cases a man does have choice. Just like Mr. Doe who choose not to use a condom every time. He choice just to depend on my pill and the doctors telling me I could not get pregnant with out fertility drugs. That was his choice. I choose to continue using the pill; But I did not demand him to use a condom every time. The mans choice is 1) To wear a condom or not? 2) To get fixed or not to get fixed? 3) I believe that they now have a pill for a man (I am not positive on this) Are these not choice's... Or are they not enough of a choice? A woman may have more of a choice. A woman may choice to have an abortion even if the man does not want her to have one just as she may choice to have the baby even if the man does not want her too.
I know my response is approximately 7 months later, but I must say I agree with your post. It was very well written. I personally wish there was a federal law that all states must abide by that would make dead beat biological fathers and mothers the right to sign over all of their legal rights and afterwards demand they get fixed. Problem solved (smile). |
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