Quote From: alienmumThis is the first time I have posted anything and I am hoping someone can give me some advice. I am the stepmother of a 15 year old. She is obnoxious, rude, disrespectful gets in trouble at school and with the law. I have been married to her father since she was 8 years old although I have know her since she was 5, she lives with us. I have previously followed Dr. Phil's advice that I should NOT be the primary diciplinarian which was fine when she was young and the behavoiur infractions were minor. Now as a teenager where the misbehaviour and potential consequences can be much more serious where do I draw the line. Her mother doesn't want to discipline her, she want to be her friend and her father is ready to give up and feels she should learn things the hard way. I feel something needs to be done before she is so far down the wrong road that there is no turning back. What should I do?
Secondly I have tried to maintain the policy of always treating her fairly and with respect regardless of her behaviour hoping that evertually it will rub off on her and she will she that my way is right. I tell her every day is a new day where she can start making good choices instead of bad. She nicer to me but just because she wants things such as money and clothes and I am usually the one who does these things for her. So now I struggle with should I take her on a planned shoping trip to the city this weekend or not, she just was suspended from school again for trunancy. She need s new clothes and I was looking forward to it, but is it sending the wrong message that her behaviour doesn't matter.
Cancelling the shopping trip as a reaction to the truancy won't help unless your step-daughter's father or mother does the cancelling. However you could make a minor point by playing truant from all domestic responsibilities this weekend and rearranging the shopping trip for next weekend.
