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Replies to 'Self Image'
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July 25, 2005, 8:27 am PDT
 You don't do it anymore? I wish I could do work like that...My problem is I have a hard problem with memorization like GEN 3:1 (Using that only as an example) I mean when I went to church as a kid First Baptist Church of New Market in My Home town when I was Just a very small kid I walked there all by my self. That was my safety place. Then I stayed there all morning. Stayed in Sunday school too. Went off to weekend retreats too. I actually have gifts of the spirit and I am very proud of that ( very humbled by that...)will tell you about that at a later time please... But after my original Pastor left who I kind of considered my "Godfather" because I didn't have that much (true family of origin and positive role models good true role models) I wish Dr. Phil and Robin I could adopt as my GODPARENTS xoxox Wanna know what happened when I went out with the NEW PASTOR OF MY CHURCH AND WHY I LEFT IT AFTER BEING THERE FOR ALL MY LIFE? We were helping a Vietnam VET and I was assisting because of my "gifts" etc.. and on the car ride home after we prayed and blessed his home etc....The "NEW Pastor told me about his dream he had about me the night before about me and my breasts! THAT WAS IT I WAS GONE!!!! BEEN on my own EVER SINCE! I am not good a memorizing things like that either but every time I am suppose to use one God always has it ready. I think memorizing comess from our mind but when we are lead by the Spirit to say it then we have allowed it to be in our Spirit. (does that make since to you) So anyway then we are speaking from our Spirit (giving God all glory) but when we speek it from what we have memorized well sometimes it puts more focus on the flesh. I felt horrible not being able to do that until God revield that to me and now i don't feel pressured to have to memorize it all but to know it is written in my Spirit. I too have the gifts of the spirit!!!! Isn't God awesome how he live and works in and through us!!! It is so funny to me how i see all this and know how awesome God is and all he can do and stuggle with all that I do. It makes it really frustrating because I know at anytime I can say here have this I will give this to you know but every time I try I feel like I say oooo no I have to have this back. Many times just minutes later. Like yesterday we had an alter call and were releasing anxiety to God (i have anxiety attacks). I went up to the alter but for some reason I just could release it. I felt so ashamed knowing the chance was right there and I denied God the previledge of seeing one of His children set free from something He did not cause or want for them. haaaaaa!! Yeah I like what you said about Dr.Phil and Robin being your Godparents, I wish I had a Godparent period. I wish I would have felt like I really really had parents. I mean I did in a way but well that is a long story or should i say alot of stories that all go together as one. sigh oooo what it would be like to oooooo i forgot what i was saying hehehe!!! O yeah God has guided me through my life for sure there were certain things that I knew God didn't want me to do when I was child and one of those was dating, He promised me when the day was to come He would show me!!! So all these years I have never dated and I am proud of it. Although sometimes i think it is for more then just the reason God said wait. Wow i can't believe the pastor told you about that dream...... hm sheessshhh hehe |
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