Quote From: notty1As a mother of 2 girls, and one of 4 daughters, I bet you would assume I would agree with Mom; WRONG!
If someone lies to you, and knowingly can have children I do not agree that the partner whoever it is should be held responsible. You are responsible for your actions! If you go into a situation positively thinking that a) you do not want to be a father and inform Mom of that b) you have been informed that Mom cannot have children c) Mom is taking birth control pills for another ailment, then why should you be responsible?
Why is not Mom responsible for lying on 2 counts? Why does she not take responsiblity?
I know most people would say "think about the child" why did the Mom not think about the child she could bring into this world. Did she honestly think things would change when the baby came? How many wives thought they could change husbands once they were married?
Don't you really think it's time that women might be held accountable for their actions and that by being a birth Mom doesn't give them clear sailing?
My thoughts anyway!
I've seen this first hand in my family in two versions.
1. The ex-wife, who has physical custody, manipulates every single situation using the son as the power token. My sister's husband is a wonderful dad to their children which includes my sister's child from a previous marriage as well, but he is very limited in including his son in their life. This 'problem' that the ex-wife has with sharing is extreme to the point the boy is in 5 sports during the school year to make sure he can't come over, is signed up for 4 camps during the summer and is extremely spoiled to 'love her more'. The courts are full of alot of other things and trying to go in for an amendment to a divorce decree is just looked on as nonsense - and they've tried!!
2. Prior to meeting her husband, he had a one night stand with a female that refused a condom claiming allergic reaction and was unable to have any more children. Several months later a knock on the door came revealing she lied, and just wanted another child but no man to go with it. My sister's husband didn't believe her and never heard from her or saw her again - until 6 yrs later when she was divorcing her husband. She is angry at men and claims the child is my sister's husbands and he owes her. During legal action it was found that he is indeed the biological dad and she is seeking child support, however we also found out that when she married, she and the husband filed an acknowledge of paternity swearing that the child was his and that they were in a fight at birth so his name was not on the certificate, but now they are married so his name was put on as father. My sister's husband knew absolutely nothing of this child for 6 yrs. No notification of any birth, nothing - but now - even though the child has known noone else except this other man as father, due to the divorce and the judge not knowing of the acknowledgment of paternity the birth certificate was reversed (after 4 yrs) and now no name is on it. During court the ex-husband stated that if it wasn't for the divorce, my sister's husband wouldn't know to this day about the child - but since it isn't his, why should he have to pay. Now why should my sister's husband be ordered to assume all responsibility - why didn't the acknowledge of paternity, as a legal document, mean anything? Also, during all this my sister had talked with family services and one agent said she had just gone into court against a man that hadn't know at all of a child for 12 years and the mom decided she wanted money and the man was ordered to pay 12 yrs BACK support - to which even the agent said it wasn't fair, but it is her job and it can happen up to a child's 18th birthday!!
Just not right
