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Replies to '07/06 Baby Wars'

 
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April 21, 2006, 3:02 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

You wouldn't be in your situation if you had just protected yourself.  I don't feel sorry for you and think you ought to not claim "victim".  The only person that I feel sorry for is you new child.  Sounds like the parents have lots of growing up to do.  I wish you all well.  

 
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April 21, 2006, 3:02 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

I have a question for you.  Why did you give in and not wear a condom?  If you know what the consequences are then why did you give in? 

 
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April 21, 2006, 3:03 pm PDT

MY OPINION

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

i think if you didnt want children you should have wrapped it no matter WHAT she said. you have to be responsiable enough to care for your own body. dont leave your own bodies care to another. every action has a consequence weather good or bad.
 
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April 21, 2006, 3:04 pm PDT

I think....

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

...you DID NOT PROTECT YOURSELF accordingly. It was completely wrong of her to lie and incredibly selfish to conceive a child under these circumstances, but GIVE ME A BREAK!  

  

Why do you think she asked you not to wear a condom?? 

  

If you are going to practice "Catholic" birth control, get ready for a lot of children!! 

 

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April 21, 2006, 3:07 pm PDT

sorry dude, people lie

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

Unfortunately people lie.  If you weren't married you should have used a condom.  If married and you want to be sure, use a condom.   

  

PS  Condoms may also not work,  Unfortunately a vasectomy or abstinence are the only sure ways. 

  

In addition to DR Phil,  you may want to watch Judge Judy or Divorce Court.  Both give life lessons about how people lie. 

  

PS I'm not cynical, I've actually been married for the last 19 years, but if you observe human nature, people often lie to get what they want. 

 
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April 21, 2006, 3:07 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

That is evil on her part but try to stop thinking about the before and learn from the circumstances. You obviously didn't know her well enough to be diving into bed with her if this is how she acts. You dont have to like your childs mother but dont take it out on the innocent child. The baby has your DNA although unfortunatley hers comes along too. The child needs a father figure and you can leave your mark on the world raising a well nurtured child.
 
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April 21, 2006, 3:08 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

My husband is going through the same thing. The problem is that are truly dead beat fathers out there so when one steps up and says hey, look at me, this is why it happened they too are classified as the dead beat dead. In these cases, yours, my husbands I truly believe the whole picture should be looked at, not just the picture of the woman. For example, this woman my husband had a brief relationship with prior to us meeting, never told him, we found out later she was stalking us both, she would sit and watch us at our home, once believing I was his sister, On Christmas morning she called to wish him a Merry Christmas, excited that my husband proposed to me the night before when she said Hi, is this Johns sister, when I said no this is his fiance, less than a month later we were served with a paternity affadavit. When we confronted her she also stated she did it on purpose and as sick as she is she stated she was going to "surprise " him with a baby on Christmas some 4 months after the childs birth ! It was when she found out he was engaged she flipped and saught revenge, leaving us to pay the debt but refuses to acknowledge the child in any shape or form with my husband. She claims to be "healer" does not believe in working, only believes in holistics etc. She gets money from the government and a check from my husband to support her craziness, how is this fair ! I feel sorry for her next victim !
 
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April 21, 2006, 3:08 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

 Men have no willpower.  I am sure you are a swell guy and all and I don't mean any disrespect, but you could have insisted on wearing the condom or not have sex.  This is what Matt should have done.  You are right, she should not have lied.  She was VERY wrong for lying to you about her cycle.  It is sad that a child got caught up in this.  Men have GOT to protect themselves if they don't want to be a father.  It is so simple.   Yes, condoms are only like 90% effective.  Then use a little spermacide with it, or put on two condoms.  Have her wear a female condom or use a sponge in addition to your condom.  Use a sponge, a female condom, a male condom AND the withdrawl method.  Oh there are so many ways to prevent pregnancy.  Oh, I KNOW.......Don't have sex!  Don't trust people you are dating to take their pills exactly as prescribed, don't trust your boyfriend to pull out in time.  It is all about protecting yourself until you are married and ready.  It is really quite simple.
 
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April 21, 2006, 3:11 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cnicho6925

I chose not to be a father, and protected myself accordingly.  This woman lied about her cycle, and asked me to not use a condom, assuring me that she was in her safe period.  After pregnancy, she admitted to me that she lied about her menstrual cycle in order to get pregnant . She admitted that she knew she was ovulating, even though she told me initially that she was sure she wasn't. She told me she wanted to  draw me "closer to her"  She has aked for my forgiveness.  When I refused, she took legal action to force me to be a father.  How can she deceive me into getting pregnant and still have the law on her side.  

If you chose not to use the condom because she asked you not to then you did not "protect" yourself accordingly.  Too many men do what feels good at the time and do not think about the end results.  And even trying to follow a woman's cycle is not very accurate due to hormones why do you think sometimes a woman's period is late or early which throws off her ovulating time (which is two weeks after a woman menstral cycle, just in case you wanted to go for that method again).  It wasn't the brightest thing you could of gone for.  I suspect you just got so excited in the moment that you didn't have to wrapp it up you didn't care to think it through.  You had a choice to use her way or yours and you choose hers, that is where you messed up.  And how do you know she didn't have a STD? Its does not take a braniac to figure out as a man your choices include getting fixed or using a condom and only the condom prevents most STD's.     

 


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