Replies to 'Depression'

I am fairly new here, but feel right at home.  A wonderful group of people who are willing to help, share, pray and extend their deepest feelings of warmth and love. 

My depression has been an ongoing event for most of my life.  At the age of 45, now, the past fifteen years have been extremely tough. 

Just to share something that may some similarities to your experience, I had ECT about 7 or years ago for my depression, which didn't help me at all.  As a matter of fact, it made things worse.  I lost total memory of days prior to the treatments and was in a world of confusin.  I also lost memory of life's events from my childhood forward to the treatments, and my memory after the treatments was drastically affected as well.   

I started experiencing tiny bits and pieces of information from my brain about my past that I wasn't sure was reality or not.  Bit by bit these flash backs continued coming to me like someone was throwing pieces of a huge puzzles towards me, and I could only get a glimpse when another one came my way. This was horrifying  I would repeat things to people over and over without realizing it.  I have never told anyone of some of the experiences I've had.  These episodes of "fragmental flashbacks" were so horrible, and came so often, I would be taken back and could not distinguish reality.  By the way, I was put under anesthesia for each of the 8 or 10 treatments and I think this may have contributed as well. 

I do not feel I have ever fully recovered.  But the depression was gone.  It still remains today, and I fight it daily like it's a real battle with a real person.  But I think in your case, the set of circumstances could have triggered a depressed state while your mind is healing itself. I am not a doctor.  I do have my opionions based on experience. 

If you haven't done this already, try spending more time in the sunshine, or in a brighter environment.  Also call up a friend to come over and open some photo albums, have some laughs.  This is always healing.  Also, read my topic on meditation and see if you think it may be beneficial to you.   

Although I have struggled with depression everyday of my life for the last fifteen plus years, I fully intend to do all that I can to help others.  I hope may a little ray of sunshine will brighten your day.  God Bless.  And if you dare, close your eyes for a moment and touch your computer screen.  Feel the SPIRIT.