Replies to 'I Want to Adopt'

 
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September 29, 2005, 3:51 pm PDT

You CAN adopt or be a foster parent

Quote From: germanyj

 Dear Dr. Phil and Friends:

I'm a 32 year old female desparate to be a mom but can't have a baby.  All my life all I've ever wanted is to have a family and be a mom.  I wanted six kids, like my grandmother.  We couldn't walk by a stroller without me stopping to take a peak.  My husband and I have been together since I was 19 and started attempting to get pregnant right after college.  It wasn't until about three years ago that I started seeing an infertility specialist.  I had surgery two years ago and learned that I had severe endometriosis.  My right fallopian tube was completely mangled, and the left doesn't look too much better.  My uterus was attached to my bladder and I had a tremendous amount of scar tissue.  My doctor told me we could attempt IVF but he wasn't sure that we'd have too much success. He said we may have to do the procedures five or six times before ruling it out as a viable option.  Unfortunately I am not one of those women who can spend that kind of money on IVF treatments.  My husband and I don't have that type of money and insurance doesn't pay for the procedures.  I know Dr. Phil must receive a million requests from women wanting to have children who cannot conceive on their own.  But I honestly don't know where else to turn.  I am so desparate and feel that time is just slipping by.  My maternal instinct is so strong and I feel as if I'm a mother without a baby.  My husband and I are very option to adoption.  This is where our second hurdle comes in.  My husband got into trouble when he was 18 and is now a convicted felon. He got several DUI's including one after being declared a habitual offender which is a felony.  He was also caught with drugs and was charged with the intent to distribute, also a felony.  We are unable to adopt.  We can't even become foster parents.  My husband is now 35, has since graduated from college with a degree is psychology, and we now run our own business.  Yet he is still being punished for the foolish things he did when he was younger in life and preventing us from having the family we so desparately want and long for. 
I have a 21 year old brother who has all of these female friends getting pregnant and treating their babies as if they were some throw away dolls.  Most of them are being rasied by grandparents and other have had abortions.  It makes me so angry that all of these girls take for granted what God has given them and they don't appreciate the miracles they have.  Then you have others like me who would do anything to have what they have and can do nothing about it. 
I too have seen the show where Dr. Phil has brought pregnant teenage mothers to women unable to have children of their own. I saw how Dr. Phil helped other people have the family they so much wanted.  I hope Dr. Phil can help me as well.  Or maybe some pregnant teenager is out there reading this and would be willing to let me be the mom I know I am.  I feel as if I'm out of options here and this is my last resort.  Thanks for listening.

My husband and I just went through fostering and/or adoption classes in New Mexico.  In our State, a person can have a felony; just nothing against kids!  My husband had a felony but it won't go against him for fostering or adopting a child.... You need to check the rules for your State to see if the same is true there.  Usually the only rules against felons adopting or fostering would be if they did something to a child or had domestic violence...not drugs or anything like that.  If you let the adoption/foster agency know exactly why he was declared a felon and what he has done since then, I would bet they would look into it and let you adopt/foster a child. 

  

Good luck to you both! 

 
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August 4, 2006, 1:00 pm PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: germanyj

 Dear Dr. Phil and Friends:

I'm a 32 year old female desparate to be a mom but can't have a baby.  All my life all I've ever wanted is to have a family and be a mom.  I wanted six kids, like my grandmother.  We couldn't walk by a stroller without me stopping to take a peak.  My husband and I have been together since I was 19 and started attempting to get pregnant right after college.  It wasn't until about three years ago that I started seeing an infertility specialist.  I had surgery two years ago and learned that I had severe endometriosis.  My right fallopian tube was completely mangled, and the left doesn't look too much better.  My uterus was attached to my bladder and I had a tremendous amount of scar tissue.  My doctor told me we could attempt IVF but he wasn't sure that we'd have too much success. He said we may have to do the procedures five or six times before ruling it out as a viable option.  Unfortunately I am not one of those women who can spend that kind of money on IVF treatments.  My husband and I don't have that type of money and insurance doesn't pay for the procedures.  I know Dr. Phil must receive a million requests from women wanting to have children who cannot conceive on their own.  But I honestly don't know where else to turn.  I am so desparate and feel that time is just slipping by.  My maternal instinct is so strong and I feel as if I'm a mother without a baby.  My husband and I are very option to adoption.  This is where our second hurdle comes in.  My husband got into trouble when he was 18 and is now a convicted felon. He got several DUI's including one after being declared a habitual offender which is a felony.  He was also caught with drugs and was charged with the intent to distribute, also a felony.  We are unable to adopt.  We can't even become foster parents.  My husband is now 35, has since graduated from college with a degree is psychology, and we now run our own business.  Yet he is still being punished for the foolish things he did when he was younger in life and preventing us from having the family we so desparately want and long for. 
I have a 21 year old brother who has all of these female friends getting pregnant and treating their babies as if they were some throw away dolls.  Most of them are being rasied by grandparents and other have had abortions.  It makes me so angry that all of these girls take for granted what God has given them and they don't appreciate the miracles they have.  Then you have others like me who would do anything to have what they have and can do nothing about it. 
I too have seen the show where Dr. Phil has brought pregnant teenage mothers to women unable to have children of their own. I saw how Dr. Phil helped other people have the family they so much wanted.  I hope Dr. Phil can help me as well.  Or maybe some pregnant teenager is out there reading this and would be willing to let me be the mom I know I am.  I feel as if I'm out of options here and this is my last resort.  Thanks for listening.
I know exactly how you feel, My self and my husband are in the same boat as yourselfs. My husband also has a vivid past (for lack of a better word) and we have been told that we are not eligable for adoption either. We have been told that I could adopt but I would have to leave my husband. I have always wanted to be a mom and I think no wait I know I would make a VERY good mother to a child that no one else seems to want or care for. as I am sure you know that about yourself. please dont give up I know there are children out there somewhere for woman like us to love and care for and for us to be the best mommies we can be. I hope Dr. Phil reads our messages and can somehow help us fulfill our dreams. so please keep looking up and looking for that special child that can be all yours. cause I know I wont stop looking for a child that we can call our own.
 
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December 25, 2006, 11:51 pm PST

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: germanyj

 Dear Dr. Phil and Friends:

I'm a 32 year old female desparate to be a mom but can't have a baby.  All my life all I've ever wanted is to have a family and be a mom.  I wanted six kids, like my grandmother.  We couldn't walk by a stroller without me stopping to take a peak.  My husband and I have been together since I was 19 and started attempting to get pregnant right after college.  It wasn't until about three years ago that I started seeing an infertility specialist.  I had surgery two years ago and learned that I had severe endometriosis.  My right fallopian tube was completely mangled, and the left doesn't look too much better.  My uterus was attached to my bladder and I had a tremendous amount of scar tissue.  My doctor told me we could attempt IVF but he wasn't sure that we'd have too much success. He said we may have to do the procedures five or six times before ruling it out as a viable option.  Unfortunately I am not one of those women who can spend that kind of money on IVF treatments.  My husband and I don't have that type of money and insurance doesn't pay for the procedures.  I know Dr. Phil must receive a million requests from women wanting to have children who cannot conceive on their own.  But I honestly don't know where else to turn.  I am so desparate and feel that time is just slipping by.  My maternal instinct is so strong and I feel as if I'm a mother without a baby.  My husband and I are very option to adoption.  This is where our second hurdle comes in.  My husband got into trouble when he was 18 and is now a convicted felon. He got several DUI's including one after being declared a habitual offender which is a felony.  He was also caught with drugs and was charged with the intent to distribute, also a felony.  We are unable to adopt.  We can't even become foster parents.  My husband is now 35, has since graduated from college with a degree is psychology, and we now run our own business.  Yet he is still being punished for the foolish things he did when he was younger in life and preventing us from having the family we so desparately want and long for. 
I have a 21 year old brother who has all of these female friends getting pregnant and treating their babies as if they were some throw away dolls.  Most of them are being rasied by grandparents and other have had abortions.  It makes me so angry that all of these girls take for granted what God has given them and they don't appreciate the miracles they have.  Then you have others like me who would do anything to have what they have and can do nothing about it. 
I too have seen the show where Dr. Phil has brought pregnant teenage mothers to women unable to have children of their own. I saw how Dr. Phil helped other people have the family they so much wanted.  I hope Dr. Phil can help me as well.  Or maybe some pregnant teenager is out there reading this and would be willing to let me be the mom I know I am.  I feel as if I'm out of options here and this is my last resort.  Thanks for listening.

I will be blunt here - your husbands lifestyle choices when he was younger were not "foolish" -they were criminal.  Anyone with several DUI's and drug convictions should never be an adoptive parent.  I don't care that it was when he was 18.  If all of that happened in his 18th year, he should still be locked up.

 

I am a little offended that  you seem to be feeling wronged. I am also angry that you are minimizing the crimes your husband comitted.   Even if your husband is living his life right now, he drove drunk, more that once, and for that, he should never be a parent. 

 

I recently became the mother to my new born grandson and my young daughter and I would have never considered you and your husband for adoption of our baby, had we gone that route.

 

Your husbands actions could have ended they very lives of babies and children you claim others don't appreciate.  I'm sorry you can't be a mom, but maybe doing "anything" to be a mom should have included not being married to a felon. 

 

Maybe your story would inspire young people to not drink and drive.  Please keep telling it. 

 

 
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April 23, 2008, 8:20 am PDT

What to do -

Quote From: germanyj

 Dear Dr. Phil and Friends:

I'm a 32 year old female desparate to be a mom but can't have a baby.  All my life all I've ever wanted is to have a family and be a mom.  I wanted six kids, like my grandmother.  We couldn't walk by a stroller without me stopping to take a peak.  My husband and I have been together since I was 19 and started attempting to get pregnant right after college.  It wasn't until about three years ago that I started seeing an infertility specialist.  I had surgery two years ago and learned that I had severe endometriosis.  My right fallopian tube was completely mangled, and the left doesn't look too much better.  My uterus was attached to my bladder and I had a tremendous amount of scar tissue.  My doctor told me we could attempt IVF but he wasn't sure that we'd have too much success. He said we may have to do the procedures five or six times before ruling it out as a viable option.  Unfortunately I am not one of those women who can spend that kind of money on IVF treatments.  My husband and I don't have that type of money and insurance doesn't pay for the procedures.  I know Dr. Phil must receive a million requests from women wanting to have children who cannot conceive on their own.  But I honestly don't know where else to turn.  I am so desparate and feel that time is just slipping by.  My maternal instinct is so strong and I feel as if I'm a mother without a baby.  My husband and I are very option to adoption.  This is where our second hurdle comes in.  My husband got into trouble when he was 18 and is now a convicted felon. He got several DUI's including one after being declared a habitual offender which is a felony.  He was also caught with drugs and was charged with the intent to distribute, also a felony.  We are unable to adopt.  We can't even become foster parents.  My husband is now 35, has since graduated from college with a degree is psychology, and we now run our own business.  Yet he is still being punished for the foolish things he did when he was younger in life and preventing us from having the family we so desparately want and long for. 
I have a 21 year old brother who has all of these female friends getting pregnant and treating their babies as if they were some throw away dolls.  Most of them are being rasied by grandparents and other have had abortions.  It makes me so angry that all of these girls take for granted what God has given them and they don't appreciate the miracles they have.  Then you have others like me who would do anything to have what they have and can do nothing about it. 
I too have seen the show where Dr. Phil has brought pregnant teenage mothers to women unable to have children of their own. I saw how Dr. Phil helped other people have the family they so much wanted.  I hope Dr. Phil can help me as well.  Or maybe some pregnant teenager is out there reading this and would be willing to let me be the mom I know I am.  I feel as if I'm out of options here and this is my last resort.  Thanks for listening.
Hi, I understand exactly what you are dealing with- I myself am unable to have children and am struggling, searching for ways to adopt a child. I do have an answer for you that may help in your quest for children. Have your husband contact the court where he was convicted and find out about having his record sealed. I myself was in lots of trouble when I was younger and as soon as my time was served and the 5 year clock met I applied to the courts to have my record sealed and it was- I didn't need a lawyer and only had to pay the court fees. This will in essence make your husbands record disappear. Today I am no longer considered a felon without rights- Look into this it will help ease your mind a great deal. As for the adoption aspect we have found a great place that works with childern already freed for adoption Christian Family Centers. They are located all over the country and have different programs to work with couples with different needs. You should check them out.
 


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