Replies to 'Having a Baby Has Changed My Life'

Dear Ladyluck,   

   

My sister had a similiar situation happen to her.  She had a baby boy and when she came home from the hospital, her apartment was emptied out by her husband and the babies father.  He took everything.  Luckily my mother was there and had her and the baby come live with us.  She finally got on her own 2 feet again and got her own place about 10 minutes away from us.  Eventually, her husband came calling back.  She took him back in but soon found out, he was nothing but trouble:  a complete dead beat dad!  He found himself in jail for drinking and driving MANY times.  Now, my nephew is much older.  He knows the truth about his dad.  He knows what his dad did.  My sister found that having him know the truth was better them him knowing a lie.  Because of this, my nephew makes the decision of if he wants to see his dad or not.  He really does not want to though.     

   

I think him knowing the truth about his dad was hard for him to take in but he handeled it.  He definetly does no lack love in his life which made it alot easier for him.  Whatever decision you decide to make......  if you do tell him the truth about his dad, just make sure you surround him with lots of love.     

   

And also, never give up on meeting someone.  My sister is now married to a wonderful man and loves my nephew very much.  Her husband now fills the void of the father figure in his life.   

   

Hope this helps.   

I'm in the same situation. My son's father was very abusive and has no redeeming qualities as well. He too has been in and out of jail. It has been my choice to keep him out of my son's life, and therefore, my son has no idea who he is, or even has a concept of what a dad is. However, I read a really great way to explain to your child about this exact family situation. The best thing is to never lie to your child, because one day he'll find out the truth. what I plan on telling my child is that there are lots of different types of families. Some with mommy's and daddys, some with two mommy's and some with two daddy's. Some families just have a daddy and some have just a mommy. And that he has a family with just a mommy, but that's okay because it means he gets loved double the amount. I figure that this should be suffice until he is at an appropriate age to begin to explain to him age appropriate information about the situation. My own personal preference as well is that I will never talk badly or exaggerate about his father. I will only tell the truth, because if he chooses to find his dad one day, I want to come out looking like the better parent.