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Replies to 'Living with Chronic Pain'
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April 24, 2006, 1:54 pm PDT
 Quote From: djmatt I am in severe pain daily. It feels like knives are stabbing in my spine, up and down. The pain meds don't relieve this, not enough to make a difference. I sometimes take 3 or 4 Ultram when I wake up still with no relief, also with the Duragsic Pain patch, Oxycodone, Neurontin and Tylenol.
My employer has robbed me of my livelihood, my life, my hopes and dreams, and have lied to me, and will not return my calls. They discontinued my benefits without warning, and after promising they would not. I do not know my employment status, they will not tell me.
They denied me permission to return to work on three different occasions with a release from my doctor each time. I have contacted the local Untied Way, attempting to get some guidance, they advised me to call the consumer credit counseling service which is closed until Thursday.
I have been receiving suspicious phone calls. I have had people watching me. For instance, recently someone in a suburban pulled into my driveway up about 100' from the road and about 30' from my house and was taking pictures. When I walked out the front door to confront him, the man immediately jumped in his vehicle. backed down this long narrow gravel driveway hauling a@*. Before I could grab my cam-corder to zoom in and capture his tag number and the vehicle, he had backed out onto a major highway giving no thought to this hill that is too steep to see over if traffic is coming, and raced North spinning tires and all. And all I did was walk out the door.
The almost exact thing happened on three or four different occasions when I was at the back of the property, and was in the vicinity of the road that is perpendicular to the major highway. This person was in a Mustang, super fast because each time I spotted him he was looking directly at me, and as before, before I could get a tag number, he hauled asp burning rubber.
The individual who promised me that the company would not discontinue my benefits is now denying this, he just finally contacted me. He passed the buck back to HR and he said he had nothing to with it. But he is the one who refused to allow me to return to work.
The stigma of depression...that's what it is. This is the man, who had the nerve to ask me if I was having sexual relations with a former employee. He had no cause for this. She never filed a complaint or I would have known. She did file a complaint against someone in upper management, and I backed her up on this about sexual harassment. I had to convince her that her job was safe if she did file the complaint. Nothing was done but a slap on the wrist and an apology (admission) by the manager. She later left on her own.
I emailed the CEO and V/P out of France, the home base for this company prior to my medical leave expressing my concerns about this very thing. I emailed him last Friday and have not heard back from him. I still have not heard from HR. She is avoiding me. She led me to believe that I would continue receiving benefits, but at a lower rate last week, and that I would have my answer by Friday 5:00 pm EDT. She has not returned any of my calls. I called the Atlanta area office and left a message, they told me she would be there by noon EDT, and they would give her the message to call me as soon as she walked in the door.
No matter who I contact, I cannot get any kind of immediate assistance.
What do I need?
This is physical and mental and emotional TORTURE And years of this is just too much. There has to be a way out, some answers, a glimmer of hope somewhere. I just need some help getting there. I did not choose to be in this situation.
It is a know fact that animals and people prey on those weaker than them. And although Depression is not a personal weakness, it appears that way to others and they take advantage. I can get a list of people who will tell you how hateful, mean and selfish my supervisor has been. Even from years past.
It just feels hopeless when I feel I have contacted everyone in the book, and I am still no closer than I was a year ago to having a normal life.
Can some one please, please help me?
Just imagine going through every day with the feeling of knives jabbed in your spine, up and down. And people just walking all over you because you cannot defend yourself. Not just employers, but all kinds of people.
Imagine being so depressed that you just cry and cry, feel guilt, anxieties, pressure in your head like it's going to explode.
I have been to numerous doctors, and here I am, still sitting here in this sinking boat without a life raft and no land in sight.
No, I do not intend to commit suicide, I would not do that to my family, but it doesn't stop the thought from crossing my mind almost every day for 16+ years. Imagine feeling that worthless as a human being. That defeated, and I have so much I could offer to this world, to our society and to my community, if I could just have my life back.
Losing this home, again, only a 100,000.00 dollar home. That's one hundred thousand dollar home. This is very modest with ten acres of land, so that I can, if and when I am well enough, walk into the woods and talk to GOD. That's what I did when I was young.
It's like I am asking too much out of life. And had it not been for my illnesses and mistreatment by my employer(s), my life would be fantastic!
Dear djmatt
I don't have any great advice for you.
But I do want you to know that I did read your post and my heart goes out to you and your family. All the "feelings" you are having, I also have experienced and many of us here on the board also have had. And it's not a great ride for anyone to have to deal with. But, there is always hope.. And that has to get you though each and every day..
Was this pain caused while you were working? If so, then you could file Work Comp. In my state that is 3/4 of your pay. Of course I am sure this can be different in each State. Also it would cove 100% of your doctor bills and meds..
If not, then you could file for Disability. And to be honest with you, I have not done this yet and have no advice or experience with this. But, I know what you have to do is just make that first call and get all the paper work sent to you and then fill it out and send back.
And it sounds like you are on the right track with contacting the head office of your work. Do you have a labor board in your state, if so, contact them. I know the can be a huge help also.
And maybe instead of calling your place of employment, just go there in person and have a meeting with the head person in charge. I think eye contact and the fact that you are there in person may help. And get things in writing.
I am sure you have checked in your employee manual and maybe re-read that and have the rules and procedures high lighted, so when you are talking in person, you can refer back to the things in writing that will help you..
Another thing that just came to me, do you have Insurance on your loan, that in case you can not work, you payment will be made for you. I have this on both loans we have, home and vehicle and two years ago, had to use it due to emergency surgery my husband had to have.
We have a place here that does all kinds of things to help people, they run the homeless shelter, they help people with no insurance and cover medications and doctor visits they help build ramps for people who are in a wheelchair, just "everything" they try to help with.. So maybe check into this also.
I am glad that you posted and it seems to help to just beabel to "write" your thoughts and feeling out..
Wishing you all the luck and hope. And the big thing, don't give up the fights. Just keep going everyday and turn over every stone you can think of..
Dianah
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April 24, 2006, 1:55 pm PDT
Quote From: djmatt I am in severe pain daily. It feels like knives are stabbing in my spine, up and down. The pain meds don't relieve this, not enough to make a difference. I sometimes take 3 or 4 Ultram when I wake up still with no relief, also with the Duragsic Pain patch, Oxycodone, Neurontin and Tylenol.
My employer has robbed me of my livelihood, my life, my hopes and dreams, and have lied to me, and will not return my calls. They discontinued my benefits without warning, and after promising they would not. I do not know my employment status, they will not tell me.
They denied me permission to return to work on three different occasions with a release from my doctor each time. I have contacted the local Untied Way, attempting to get some guidance, they advised me to call the consumer credit counseling service which is closed until Thursday.
I have been receiving suspicious phone calls. I have had people watching me. For instance, recently someone in a suburban pulled into my driveway up about 100' from the road and about 30' from my house and was taking pictures. When I walked out the front door to confront him, the man immediately jumped in his vehicle. backed down this long narrow gravel driveway hauling a@*. Before I could grab my cam-corder to zoom in and capture his tag number and the vehicle, he had backed out onto a major highway giving no thought to this hill that is too steep to see over if traffic is coming, and raced North spinning tires and all. And all I did was walk out the door.
The almost exact thing happened on three or four different occasions when I was at the back of the property, and was in the vicinity of the road that is perpendicular to the major highway. This person was in a Mustang, super fast because each time I spotted him he was looking directly at me, and as before, before I could get a tag number, he hauled asp burning rubber.
The individual who promised me that the company would not discontinue my benefits is now denying this, he just finally contacted me. He passed the buck back to HR and he said he had nothing to with it. But he is the one who refused to allow me to return to work.
The stigma of depression...that's what it is. This is the man, who had the nerve to ask me if I was having sexual relations with a former employee. He had no cause for this. She never filed a complaint or I would have known. She did file a complaint against someone in upper management, and I backed her up on this about sexual harassment. I had to convince her that her job was safe if she did file the complaint. Nothing was done but a slap on the wrist and an apology (admission) by the manager. She later left on her own.
I emailed the CEO and V/P out of France, the home base for this company prior to my medical leave expressing my concerns about this very thing. I emailed him last Friday and have not heard back from him. I still have not heard from HR. She is avoiding me. She led me to believe that I would continue receiving benefits, but at a lower rate last week, and that I would have my answer by Friday 5:00 pm EDT. She has not returned any of my calls. I called the Atlanta area office and left a message, they told me she would be there by noon EDT, and they would give her the message to call me as soon as she walked in the door.
No matter who I contact, I cannot get any kind of immediate assistance.
What do I need?
This is physical and mental and emotional TORTURE And years of this is just too much. There has to be a way out, some answers, a glimmer of hope somewhere. I just need some help getting there. I did not choose to be in this situation.
It is a know fact that animals and people prey on those weaker than them. And although Depression is not a personal weakness, it appears that way to others and they take advantage. I can get a list of people who will tell you how hateful, mean and selfish my supervisor has been. Even from years past.
It just feels hopeless when I feel I have contacted everyone in the book, and I am still no closer than I was a year ago to having a normal life.
Can some one please, please help me?
Just imagine going through every day with the feeling of knives jabbed in your spine, up and down. And people just walking all over you because you cannot defend yourself. Not just employers, but all kinds of people.
Imagine being so depressed that you just cry and cry, feel guilt, anxieties, pressure in your head like it's going to explode.
I have been to numerous doctors, and here I am, still sitting here in this sinking boat without a life raft and no land in sight.
No, I do not intend to commit suicide, I would not do that to my family, but it doesn't stop the thought from crossing my mind almost every day for 16+ years. Imagine feeling that worthless as a human being. That defeated, and I have so much I could offer to this world, to our society and to my community, if I could just have my life back.
Losing this home, again, only a 100,000.00 dollar home. That's one hundred thousand dollar home. This is very modest with ten acres of land, so that I can, if and when I am well enough, walk into the woods and talk to GOD. That's what I did when I was young.
It's like I am asking too much out of life. And had it not been for my illnesses and mistreatment by my employer(s), my life would be fantastic!
Dear djmatt
I don't have any great advice for you.
But I do want you to know that I did read your post and my heart goes out to you and your family. All the "feelings" you are having, I also have experienced and many of us here on the board also have had. And it's not a great ride for anyone to have to deal with. But, there is always hope.. And that has to get you though each and every day..
Was this pain caused while you were working? If so, then you could file Work Comp. In my state that is 3/4 of your pay. Of course I am sure this can be different in each State. Also it would cove 100% of your doctor bills and meds..
If not, then you could file for Disability. And to be honest with you, I have not done this yet and have no advice or experience with this. But, I know what you have to do is just make that first call and get all the paper work sent to you and then fill it out and send back.
And it sounds like you are on the right track with contacting the head office of your work. Do you have a labor board in your state, if so, contact them. I know the can be a huge help also.
And maybe instead of calling your place of employment, just go there in person and have a meeting with the head person in charge. I think eye contact and the fact that you are there in person may help. And get things in writing.
I am sure you have checked in your employee manual and maybe re-read that and have the rules and procedures high lighted, so when you are talking in person, you can refer back to the things in writing that will help you..
Another thing that just came to me, do you have Insurance on your loan, that in case you can not work, you payment will be made for you. I have this on both loans we have, home and vehicle and two years ago, had to use it due to emergency surgery my husband had to have.
We have a place here that does all kinds of things to help people, they run the homeless shelter, they help people with no insurance and cover medications and doctor visits they help build ramps for people who are in a wheelchair, just "everything" they try to help with.. So maybe check into this also.
I am glad that you posted and it seems to help to just beabel to "write" your thoughts and feeling out..
Wishing you all the luck and hope. And the big thing, don't give up the fights. Just keep going everyday and turn over every stone you can think of..
Dianah
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May 4, 2006, 11:44 am PDT
Quote From: djmatt I am in severe pain daily. It feels like knives are stabbing in my spine, up and down. The pain meds don't relieve this, not enough to make a difference. I sometimes take 3 or 4 Ultram when I wake up still with no relief, also with the Duragsic Pain patch, Oxycodone, Neurontin and Tylenol.
My employer has robbed me of my livelihood, my life, my hopes and dreams, and have lied to me, and will not return my calls. They discontinued my benefits without warning, and after promising they would not. I do not know my employment status, they will not tell me.
They denied me permission to return to work on three different occasions with a release from my doctor each time. I have contacted the local Untied Way, attempting to get some guidance, they advised me to call the consumer credit counseling service which is closed until Thursday.
I have been receiving suspicious phone calls. I have had people watching me. For instance, recently someone in a suburban pulled into my driveway up about 100' from the road and about 30' from my house and was taking pictures. When I walked out the front door to confront him, the man immediately jumped in his vehicle. backed down this long narrow gravel driveway hauling a@*. Before I could grab my cam-corder to zoom in and capture his tag number and the vehicle, he had backed out onto a major highway giving no thought to this hill that is too steep to see over if traffic is coming, and raced North spinning tires and all. And all I did was walk out the door.
The almost exact thing happened on three or four different occasions when I was at the back of the property, and was in the vicinity of the road that is perpendicular to the major highway. This person was in a Mustang, super fast because each time I spotted him he was looking directly at me, and as before, before I could get a tag number, he hauled asp burning rubber.
The individual who promised me that the company would not discontinue my benefits is now denying this, he just finally contacted me. He passed the buck back to HR and he said he had nothing to with it. But he is the one who refused to allow me to return to work.
The stigma of depression...that's what it is. This is the man, who had the nerve to ask me if I was having sexual relations with a former employee. He had no cause for this. She never filed a complaint or I would have known. She did file a complaint against someone in upper management, and I backed her up on this about sexual harassment. I had to convince her that her job was safe if she did file the complaint. Nothing was done but a slap on the wrist and an apology (admission) by the manager. She later left on her own.
I emailed the CEO and V/P out of France, the home base for this company prior to my medical leave expressing my concerns about this very thing. I emailed him last Friday and have not heard back from him. I still have not heard from HR. She is avoiding me. She led me to believe that I would continue receiving benefits, but at a lower rate last week, and that I would have my answer by Friday 5:00 pm EDT. She has not returned any of my calls. I called the Atlanta area office and left a message, they told me she would be there by noon EDT, and they would give her the message to call me as soon as she walked in the door.
No matter who I contact, I cannot get any kind of immediate assistance.
What do I need?
This is physical and mental and emotional TORTURE And years of this is just too much. There has to be a way out, some answers, a glimmer of hope somewhere. I just need some help getting there. I did not choose to be in this situation.
It is a know fact that animals and people prey on those weaker than them. And although Depression is not a personal weakness, it appears that way to others and they take advantage. I can get a list of people who will tell you how hateful, mean and selfish my supervisor has been. Even from years past.
It just feels hopeless when I feel I have contacted everyone in the book, and I am still no closer than I was a year ago to having a normal life.
Can some one please, please help me?
Just imagine going through every day with the feeling of knives jabbed in your spine, up and down. And people just walking all over you because you cannot defend yourself. Not just employers, but all kinds of people.
Imagine being so depressed that you just cry and cry, feel guilt, anxieties, pressure in your head like it's going to explode.
I have been to numerous doctors, and here I am, still sitting here in this sinking boat without a life raft and no land in sight.
No, I do not intend to commit suicide, I would not do that to my family, but it doesn't stop the thought from crossing my mind almost every day for 16+ years. Imagine feeling that worthless as a human being. That defeated, and I have so much I could offer to this world, to our society and to my community, if I could just have my life back.
Losing this home, again, only a 100,000.00 dollar home. That's one hundred thousand dollar home. This is very modest with ten acres of land, so that I can, if and when I am well enough, walk into the woods and talk to GOD. That's what I did when I was young.
It's like I am asking too much out of life. And had it not been for my illnesses and mistreatment by my employer(s), my life would be fantastic!
I am sorry you r in pain, I live with it daily too. I would definitly get an atty. and he will help u go over things and find out about the ppl watching u. He can set up his own ppl to watch the ppl watching u and find out who they r. (I am abbreviating to save space and time) An atty can also even just send out a letter representing u and they may get scared and settle things with u, even if its workers comp or giving u ins again. I think that is a great idea, some attys work out a pymt plan and some pro bono for ppl who really need it like u. This is a real problem & it is not good to have strangers watching u. PUT A NO TRESSING SIGN OUT AND CALL POLICE TO PASS BY MORE. I read ur story & all others on here and cry, it is so sad what we go through. I have had so many jobs as a medical assistant that it isnt funny, they got tired of me missing work b/c sometimes i couldnt function that day & i had too many dr appts so they would always let me go due to missing work-didnt care if i had docs note either. Left me no choice but to get on dissability-luckily i was accepted 1st time--not that it pays me all i deserve but, at least it covers my pain mgnt doc & meds, yep my whole ck of $642 every month is toward medical for me, which leaves stress on my hubby cause he has to pay all the bills & it is very very hard living pay ck to pay ck. My kids suffer too b/c we cant spend $ on ativities w/ them as we should be able to do. Sad thing is i tried to commit suicide in 2004 and alit did was get me 1 night in the pycho ward for nothing---the pills didnt even make me sleepy cause my body so used to the meds i take---the ER was shocked, they couldnt believe that after swallowing 30 tranzene & 30 percocet i was ok--truely no syntoms. Actually its sad cause i was still in pain! Anyway, I could go on & on but, I will stop. Please email me if u would like to, I dont mind.
Wendy AKA sweet2u |
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