Quote From: cheekynik I hear you. It frustrates me to no end. Even though I love my stepson, (And I mean that), It is time that he grows up. The saddest part of it all though, is that his father is to partly blame because he allows it to happen. He keeps giving in to him, so he knows he can keep quiting his jobs. I am not the perfect parent, but I just wouldn't put up with it from my kids. My daughter is just turning 19 and she is attending college fulltime and has a fulltime evening job at a telephone marketing company. I think she is working too many hours, personally. She is going to burn out. I told her that I think she should quit her job and just obtain a partime, evening job. Then she will be able to focus more on her schoolwork, but she is somehow still averaging a 90 percent in her courses. The only problem I have with my daughter, (but it is big enough), is her attitude. I'm just glad that she is a hard worker. What I find the hardest is that my fiance is doing the same thing with my daughter as what he did with his kids. I am trying to teach my daughter not to borrow money off of me because she shouldn't have to. So, she blows her paychecks (thankgod, not on drugs), on clothes, but then asks for money. I won't give it to her, but my fiance does, just to shut her up. That's what happened with his boys. I don't want my daughter getting used to mooching off of us. How do I deal with that one??
IMO sounds like the place to start is with your fiance. Many parents after a breakup use money to ease the pain of guilt. Children pick up on the guilt and many run with it!
The next person is your daughter. First I'd like to point out, you said she's just turning 19, attending college and has a fulltime job. I would reward her by telling her how proud you are of those facts. She certainly is not lazy nor a mooch. Sounds like perhaps showing her how to and why to budget would be a good idea.
Rewarding and giving for giving sake is not the same thing.
Good Luck
Coffee
