Replies to '07/27 Fighting Styles'

WOW!!!!  

Watching the way that Kim and Mike fought was such a scary thing to see for me.  I felt like I was looking in a mirror.  We have been together for 6 years, I brought a daughter into the relationship who was 4 years old at the time.  I am so afraid as to what damage I might have done to her pour innocent soul.  I grew up with a father who yelled all the time and a mother who let him.  I am so afraid that I have shown my daughter that this is how a man and a woman love each other.  We are at a point now where we NEVER spend time together.  He has buried himself in his work and when he does have free time, he's at a bar, casino or with friends.  He says things to hurt when we're fighting.  I try to defend and stick up for myself.  You can only be put down so many times before it starts to change who you are.  I am not the person at all anymore that he met ( an ongoing fight).  Well jeese, I wonder why.  When you tell the woman you LOVE that she is selfish and only thinks about herself because she wants to take about her pain, or when he showed up 2 1/2 hours late, empty handed not even a card to my 30th birthday party, while I'm pregnant with our baby (his first child) because drinking with a client was more important, or when he repeatedly tells me to f. off., or when he commented that all I do is sit around and eat all day.  I am in so much pain and I wish he could see this.  Our newborn baby is 4 months old and I just found out last week that I am 8 weeks pregnant.  I don't want to bring another child into this hurtful and destructive relationship but I don't see him as ever being the kind of person he was when he actually cared about my heart.  There is obviously so much more to this relationship.  He has a major gambling problem, he thinks he has a right to watch porn and strippers because I'm not thin anymore,  he treats my daughter like she should be perfect all the time, he's a work-a-holic as well on the road to an alcoholic.  I ask myself all the time why am I with him and the only answer I can come up with is because I'm trapped.  I do love him and I know he has feelings for me but I just need him to see that if he cares and takes care of me and my feelings, I would be such a better woman for him.  

Anyway, I guess it makes me feel better that I'm not the only woman in the world in a relationship like this but it makes me sad that this seems to be so common.  Why are men so hurtful to the woman they love?