Replies to '05/04 Violent Love Intervention'

 That might be one of your morals or how you were raised but  a relationship is different for everyone.  There have been times I have been scared at school by a teacher that I have always loved and I know cares about her students.  There can be fear and love in the same house but it should only go to a certain extent.  If the fear has to deal with death or being hurt then of course its not love but if the fear is in way that someone is trying to help you then it could still be love. So maybe we shouldn't speak for everybody, just what we feel or what our morals are.
                         Adrien

I admit this woman on the show is the most extreme case that I have ever seen.  I am astonished that she says she loves him.   But then again I am not.   I too love someone that I shouldn't.   There is a minor degree of physical and emotional abuse in the relationship with the person that I love and says loves me, but not at all to that extreme extent.     There are other reasons why I shouldn't love this person.     Abuse is the least of those reasons.  In fact this person and I aren't even together.  But, when I try to convince myself that I don't love that person.  I just can't do it.   My intellectual self  knows that everything that you wrote is absolutely true, my emotional side says, love is love.   I can see how hard it is to not love.   I can't understand it, but I can see it.   Dr. Phil used the terms intellectual versus emotional levels today.   Brain versus heart.    I know which one is supposed to win out, the brain,  but I think I can see how one can get so lost in love, or their perception of what love is, that even fear and hurt, and lies and broken promises and lost dreams, can sway the intellect.   I am not saying that an abuser or controller is validated, but I can not go through life saying that love or one's perception of love is not valid. 

  

I wish these women the best of luck, and I am glad that there are people who really do care in this world.