Replies to 'Infidelity'

Hi 

I am not usre if this helps but I went thru the same thing with my husband.  The problem was that he was in fat having an affair.  He later told me that it was over and then I found that he had been calling and text messaging.  Whether it continued to be a physical affair, I am not sure but regardless it was an emotional one.  He did not believe that there could be emotional affairs.  In the end what it came down to was that I down loaded material off some web sites and printed it out for him to see.  I made him read countless stories of couples who had suffered due to emotional affairs, divorces that were a result of it, etc. etc.  If he was  not going to beleive me then he was at least going to read what could happen and advice from others that did beleive in it.  In the end, if he cannot respect you and the way that this other relationship makes you feel then he/sahe does not deserve you.  If it is truly just a friendship then he shold include you in some activities unitl you feel comfortable with the friendship.  Your feelings should count so please do not let him/her make you think otherwise.  I figured out that lesson too late and by then I had been mentally beat up for too long.  If I can help you any more please let me know. Good luck 

 He knows exactly what you mean when you say "emotional infidelity." And he doesn't care. You are certainly not stupid, you are just in the shock and denial stage. You want to believe his lies so bad, because you are afraid of having to make a decision that will affect your world profoundly. If he thinks you are swallowing his lies, they will continue, and get more outrageous. And believing them won't stop him from leaving if that's what he decides to do in the end.
If he is spending time with this "friend" you can bet they are doing more than talking.
You ask "how do I believe him when he says he isn't doing anything wrong?" Well...you said yourself that you know he is lying. So believing the lies is betraying yourself and your intellect. He may deny it until the end of the world.
I would start getting some advice from professionals. Like a lawyer, and maybe an investigator. Even if you don't use their services, you will feel more in control of your situation. Gather your friends and family around for support. Confide in those who are closest to you. Your husband trusts that you are going to so ashamed that you won't whisper a word to anyone. Don't fall for that, YOU didn't do anything wrong. If anyone should feel the heat of judgment from others, it should be him. And if he REALLY hasn't "done anything" yet, it may cause him to stop in his tracks. Don't cut him any slack, he brought this crap home to you, he's causing you to reevaluate your life with him. It's a rotten dirty thing to do to someone, but it's happening. It's up to you to do something about it.