I have talked to therapist and priests and they nderstood and I was very much surprised when they all told me that I did not have to cry, that I did not have to feel overwhelming sad.A priest told me that feelings are what they are we cannot make them up, and death is just part of life and tears can be or cannot be that dosent make you better or worst person . I wish to see her someday again in heaven if God permits me to get there and I know over there we can reunite happily without all this worldy craziness, this all will seem stupid, sorry if I sounded to harsh didnt want to scare you is just that now I like it better and she didnt have to die she just needed to respect me and my husband. I am glad that after all you still have a connection with your mother and you will cry when the time comes but dont think that at every funeral people are always devastated look a little closer sadly some people are relieve, and that is a cruel reality . I dont want to feel this way, I tried so much to go with her to therapy I made a great effort, now I can only concentrate in not repeating it with my own children I just want Claudia to know that it dosent have to get that far.
