Replies to 'We Disagree On Punishment'

It certainly is up to us as parents to teach and guide our children in making the right choices in life and how they eat depends on us as parents. if we want our children to eat healthy then we need to be the ones to teach and encourage this. One thing I do is, I give them choices and they have to choose something from that choice list and if they refuse everything, then too bad, they don't eat. Your spouse is definetly depriving your kids of the nutrition that they need and as long as she allows them to manipulate her and to allow them to cause this tension between the two of you, then she certainly will reap some regrets. Who is the primary grocer shopper in your home? Maybe this is a task that you can do. And I would avoid buying that stuff. Maybe find some recipe books and together as a family go through them and decide on a couple of new foods together and depending on the age of your children of course., let them help prepare the meal. Maybe go out and buy the ingredients for a home made pizza and let them help make it. You can also buy frozen ravioli where you cook it and add your own ingredients, add some peas to the sauce and mix it all together, This kind of stuff works with my 4 year old who is a picky eater. I would keep trying to introduce a new food on a regular basis, encourage the kids to take so many bite, My daughter has to take 4 bites becasue she is 4 years old. I think you and yuour spouse really need some alone time and discuss this and come upo with some ideas together and try to get on the same page otherwise, your kids will continue to play her against you and vice versa, they need to learn to respect both of you and the two of you need to respect one another. Though it is discouraging and you may feel like you are fighting a losing battle, don't give in to them. Keep communicating with your spouse and keep encouraging the kids to eat healthy.

It seems that your spouse does all of the grochery shopping.I think you should get in there and start doing it.If you tell your spouse that you care,Say, I dont want them to get made fun of when they get older.I want them to eat as healthy as they can.So they can be in sports be happy,and feel good about themselves.I think when a lot of people eat healthy they feel good and are more confident about themselves.. 

-sheena- 

The truth is, what they want are boundaries, not junk food. They may not realise it now, but when they are obese with heart problems, they will only have your spouse to thank. 

I'm afraid that while dinner becomes a big fight when they eat healthily, you and your spouse will have to bear it until the children eat good food. Your spouse feeds them crap simply because it evades a fight and is therefore easier. Unfortunately, she is actually doing wrong by the children. By putting "peace" first over a child's nutrition, your spouse is only setting themselves up for a fall. It has been proven that with good nutrition comes good behaviour, and in addition, by reinforcing to your children that by fighting they will get what they want, your spouse is encouraging them to fight, because they know they will win. 

Be strong. Your kids will not like it, and you will not like it, but long term, they will never know how much they owe you for providing them with nutrition, and ground rules. If you stick to your guns (both of you must agree on discipline for it to work) you will raise children who know how to discuss the things they want, not just throw a tantrum in order to get it. 

It will not be easy. 

Today kids are worse then ever. junk is addiction to there pallet.  It use to be that fast food was a rare reward. Today its a scape goat  for the parent. There are some things going on today for parent awareness of, fun food that's nourishes. We are a , make It easy, make It fast, spoiled, run out the door ,family these days. And it doesn't help the most me like meat,&potatoes, and little vegges. So there for , sets bad example.  I say part wimp. Part unconfrontational. Butt a parent needs to be confrontational. And set an example.   I have the same losing battle.  We grow a garden, and they pick it ,but wont eat it.

I think we need to open our eyes to what we are doing to our kids, latter in life (health wise), by what we are doing right now.