Replies to 'Divorce Support'

You can contact me on my yahoo account at Trickster139@yahoo.com and we can independantly email back and forth chatting about our issues as we do have similar things happening!

Keep your mouth shut.  Do not give him any indication you know about the cell bill.  Just file everything away for future use. This is no innocent friendship. 

This is known as rubbing your nose in it.  He wants you to be the bad guy here.

He is NOT READY to end the marriage, but IS ready to move out and have a hoochie on the side.  No logic here at all.

I would not do things on HIS terms at all.  Please do not tell me you are sleeping with him.

Get legal counsel NOW.  Hubby still has WAY too much power in this situation.  Got any money for a PI?

Your story gave ME the chills!  There is such a thing called an emotional affair.  It feels the same as a real affair.  My husband had a "friendship" with a woman from work for 6 months.  He didn't stop calling her or spending time with her even though it bothered me.  He knew I saw the cell phone bills and still didn't care.  It was all innocent, he said.  After that stopped, he started going out more with his friends from work, mostly women.  Again, he didn't care that it made me uncomfortable.  My counselor suggested that I ask him what his level of commitment was to our marriage.  My husband said that he didn't want to work on the marriage anymore and wanted to find his soulmate.  Can you say mid-life crisis?!  BONK!  Frying pan over the head for me - I finally saw the light!  I filed for divorce about 2 weeks later, which was one week after my 16th anniversary.  Today my cheating husband finally moved out of the house; he has been sleeping with someone else for about 6 weeks and couldn't even have the decency to move out.  He has not been remorseful for any of it.  He is 44 years old and doesn't take responsibility for his own actions, especially if they effect other people.  I have not been the perfect spouse, but I am in counseling and will continue treatment to get me through this.  He needs counseling, but is in heavy, heavy denial about his relationship issues.  Now, I am trying to deal with two huge losses: the divorce and his ultimate rejection of me.  And I'm trying to make sure my daughter survives this emotionally, even though her dad thinks everything is fine.  I'm scared, but I also feel like I have a new start to be the strong woman I used to be - before my husband made me wrong about everything in our relationship.  It took me a long time to get to this point and everyone's decision is personal - you have to decide when the time is right for you.  What do YOU want from your marriage?  You deserve someone that respects you and wants to be married to you.  If you are not in counseling, I recommend you find someone ASAP.  If your husband won't agree to joint counseling, then do it yourself.  I did this over 6 months ago and I'm so thankful that I was already getting therapy before this.  I wish you the very best of luck!   

I was married for 10 years.  My ex actually took my 8 yr old daughter to a baseball game with his "girlfriend".  That is how I found out he was cheating on me.  He would talk to her on his cell phone in front of me and use my neighbors name when he talked to her.  I thought he was talking to the neighbor!!!  He told me he wanted out of our relationship the day he took my daughter to the game.  However, he wouldn't move out.  I tried to get him to go to counseling for 2 months.  He went once.  I went every week at least once.  Finally, I told him to move out.  It was one of the hardest and best things I've ever done.  I didn't realize how miserable I was with him.  He was verbally and emotionally abusive.  He never liked any of my friends.  He also didn't like crowds, so we never went anywhere.  I had a allowance of $100.00 per month.  That was supposed to cover my hair, clothing, makeup and anything fun I wanted to do.  However, he could go to the grocery store and blow our food budget and spend $150 on steak and beer.   

I was a stay at home Mom.  I have a college degree and a CPA.  However, when it came time for me to get my license, he said it would cost too much.  I had worked years to get that license.  Luckily, I didn't listen to him.  Now, I have my own CPA firm where my office is in my house.  He tells my daughter that I don't have a real job.   

My suggestion, call your old girl friends and go out for dinner or drinks.  They would probably love to hear from you.  Quit worrying about him so much.  What do you want out of life???  I wouldn't wait for him or get angry.  Do something nice for yourself, dump him!! 

It was somewhere around my 11th year of marriage that I found out my husband was on the interenet.  It has been about 3.5 years, counseling services, and a lot of crying ago now. I have caught him 4 or 5 times on many dating sites and secret emails. What I have read and seen would blow your mind. This from a man that I was deeply in love with and thought I could trust! We are now getting our house ready to try to sell in this awful market so that we can divorce and move on. I am sad, but after much pleading with him I know now that he will never stop. I think, no, I know that I am over it all now. . I really want to send out a message to all women that what you see on these dating sites isn't always what you get. Over the years he has told these women that he was divorced. He has lied to them. I was sitting right here with him the entire time thinking we had this wonderful marriage and all along he was living another life.

So, women, beware! And men (im sure women do it too) just be careful out there.

As for me, if and when I am ready to date again after all this is over, I will never date a man that knows how to use a computer, let alone own one!

When I read this, I could have sworn I typed it. Except we’ve been married 10 years and our daughter turned 12 a week ago. I have been a good faithful Christian and now even my walk with God is not in the right place. I am in a place of vengeance right now and I feel like I can’t stop myself. So I am trying to isolate myself from everyone but he is making it impossible.  I want justice for myself and my child. To me cheaters, rapists and molesters are all the same: people who will stop at nothing to commit a sexual act with disregard for the possibility that they may scar their victim for life. I know a woman who killed herself behind a cheating husband. No legal action was taken. I know a woman hospitalized for being molested as a child. This man was at least arrested. Which is worse? Dealing with the death of your daughter? Especially if U are a Christian like me who believes there is no heaven for suicides (which by the way is the ONLY reason I have not killed myself at this point) or at least being able to visit your daughter and have strength for her healing? Why do I make such a gruesome comparison? Because I was molested as a child. Raped/almost raped (it was a friend of the family and when I screamed he stopped. It went in a little but not all the way, but far enough. I still remember being held down, his weight, his breath etc, which is horrible in itself) as a young woman and cheated on by my spouse multiple times (this 3 year affair is the worst bcuz we went thru 6 months of counseling only to find out he KEPT his girlfriend throughout counseling and would talk to HER about OUR sessions. HE never talked to me about our therapy!) Having experienced all three I can honestly say that this act committed against me by my spouse is worse than the others. This act has me on the edge of my sanity and my life. Where is the justice for me? Would infidelity be as high if it was punishable by law? How do we get a law passed? Research the women who have killed them selves, gone crazy or both to hold someone responsible?